Gharwalo ne kaha ki kuch ban jao.... Mai unke upar bhoj ban gya... 🙃

Bhai jitna space tune cringe mei diya h.... Mere se jyada to tera comment cringe lg rha h

Achha to ab smjha vo kal chotu bolne wale aap hi the didi mujhe.... Aapne to ig ki full form nhi na btai... Badi mushkil se pta ki thi didi.. 

3am Thoughts

Kitna bura lagta hai jaab you realize that you're single even after having all the qualities of a good partner... 😓
But then when you also realize that relationship nahi hai isliye dusro k jaise khit khit and all same problems nahi hai life is all set from a aspect💕🌚 

Ab ni lgta yrrrr khuda khusiyan bi dega mujhe kabhi.... 
Pr khuda jitni Khushi to meri hisse ki katta h sari kaat mujhe koi takleef ni bs duniya ko khush rkha kr yrrrrrr!

Vo bachpan yaad h mujhe jo maine jiya ni 
Jehr pila dia aapne aur khte ho humne piya ni
Ek ek cheez jo tune mangi khushi khusi di khta h dia ni
Jitni saja tu mujhe deta h utna to koi bada jurm maine kia ni
Kabhi vakt lage to dekh meri taqdeer ko pad use 
Pata lge bachpan se ab tk ka shayad hi mehsoos ho tujhe
Khte khuda maa baap jaise hota h jo mango deta h 
Jisme aap khush ni vo pr jisme aap khush sb leta h 
Ni rehna aapki Khushi m khush ae khuda humko
Hum apni khushi m gum bi seh lenge smj ni aata kya itna tumko!

I am absolutely ok! But kuch alfaaz. Aise hi 🙃❤️


So I used to take CAT ki offline coaching from TIME Delhi. Now, since my undergrad got over, I came back home. Aur kahin padhai nhi ho ri hai. Mtlb it’s hella difficult. Merko lagta tha ki na padhna is very easy par kuch samajh hi ni aa ra hai yr. Mtlb itna saara syllabus hai. Online class ka time saala 8 P.M. to 10:30 P.M. It’s difficult guys. Mai jab PG me thi toh mai itni pareshan thi merko lagta tha ki ghar me toh padhai bht easily ho jaayegi. Par bht mushkil lag ra hai yr. Bht difficult.

Stress

Problem -
mera din bhar normal chal rha hai pr koi thought ya feeling trigger ho ja rha hai phir main sochte chale ja rha hun aur uske baad andar se feeling sad  ho ja rha k6 krne ka mn nhi kr rha hai n pdne ka n k6 aur bs aankh bnd krke sona chahta hun  aur phir pura din aur raat bit ja rha hai jb tk main soke phir se n uthu tb tk mujhe ku6 aur krne ka mn hi nhi kr rha bss so jana chahta hun main

( ye chize pi6le 4 saal se chal rhi hai phle main mobile mein note likhta tha pr likhte likhe sb note bhar gyi keep note aur Microsoft ka one note bhut jyada bhar chuka hai ki main unhe nhi smjh nhi skta hun) 



Mujhe pdne hai pr main padh nhi paa rha hun. 
Main subh se hi apne thought aur feeling se bahr nhi aa pa rha hun.

 Jb tk in thought ar feeling p discuss n kr lun tb tk main pdai nhi kr paunga....

Thought-
1 main chahta hun duniya ruk jaye ya main gayb ho jau duniya se kyonki main phas chuka hun main harne wala hun aur brbad hone wala hun mera 4 yr btech ka brbad hone wala hai ...
Lekin ye chiz main pi6le saal bhi chaha tha aur uske baad bhgwan ne covid krke college bnd ho gya mujhe time mila 1yr apne aap ko apni gltiyon ko Sudharne k liye pr iske bawjood phir after 1 yr bhi main kmjor hun mujhe aur time Chahiye
Lekin ab sby khatm hone wala hai aur main brbad ho jaunga mere sare sapne tutne wale hai aur ye mujhe pi6le 2saal se dar rha tha ki khi main haar na jau aur iske bawjood in 2 saal k baad bhi main apne dar p jit nhi pa paya ... Ye meri failure hai ab isme koi hope nhi hai ye hoke rhega ab...

3 Aaj ek information thi jo main share krna chaha kisi se 
Pr main paya ki koi mera apna hai hi nhi jisase main k6 bhi share kr sku 
Aur agar main unlog ko ye information share kru mtpb jo mujhe apna mante hai to we khus ho jayenge mujhe phone krenge mujhse baat krenge aur mera aur time brbad krenge aur main k6 unse puchhna chahunga to wo nhi btayenge

mujhe dost manane wale bhut hai wo sb mujhe apna maan k mujhe apni 1-1 personal baat jbrdsti sunate hai. In 4 saal mein ye dost jo mujhe apna manate hai itna mera time brbad kiye hai aur main sunta gya kyonki main feel krta tha ki wo mujse thoda jya poor hai ya uske father mother thode jyada old hai ya mujhe apne dost ki baat sunani Chahiye 


Pr is duniya m koi bhi nhi hi jisase main apni feeling share kr sku jise main apna samajh k apni preshani bta sku 
Maa papa se bhi main k6 bhi share nhi krta hun. Lekin abse main thoda bhut jrur share krunga apni feeling ko, lekin main unhe apni preshani sunake aur preshna nhi krna chahtahun

3 meri sbse bdi kmjori hai ki main apne trike se jindagi nhi ji rha hun. Jha rhta hun wha koi na koi dost mujhe gulam bna leta hai phir wo mujhe apni puri baate usko jo man hai wo baat mujse krta rhta hai 
Phir wo pdai kr leta hai uske baad mobile m song chalane lgta hai ya baat krne lgta hai aur phir main pdai nhi kr pata hun pr iske bawjood main use mna nhi kr aise
Aise hi bachpn se chala aa rha jitne bhi mere dostb  jo mujhe apna bolte hai wo aaj tk mujhse happy baat krte hai aur hmesa mere sath time spend krna chahte hai pr ab main unse bhut dur bhag jana chhata hun kyonki main unka gulam bn chuka hun wo mujhe apne anusar nacha dete hai aur main bs ha mein ha krta rhta hun.

4 kya vc sir ya professor meri baat ko smjhenge notice m to likha tha ki jo nhi agree hoga unka separate exam krayenge pr ab after covid k kewl k6 student k liye college wale exam krayenge ...
In 4 yr m college wale student k demand p koi baat mane - Nhi - To ye kaise maan lenge - aur tb phur main kya krunga agar vc sir mna kr diye ???

5 Main new yr p resolution liya hun ki aaj k baad main jh rhunga wha apne emotion ko apni feeling ko jaise past 20yr se neglect ya dusro k samne aoni feeling ki value nhi krta hun aaj k baad main aisa koi step ya action nhi krunga jh main apni feeling k against kiya...
Is Resoulution ko mujhe bhulna nhi hai..



Feeling-
1 ye mhsus ho rha ki ye duniya meaningless hai 
2 main jo kr rha wo sb k6 ek din khtm ho jyga 
3 main akela hun life mein 
4 k6 bhi shi ya glt decision nhi le paa rha 
5 main apne aap ko bhut chizo mein week pa rha hun 
6 main chahta hun ki jinhone  mujhe mere purane ghar se nikala hai unse bdla le sku ya bhgwan unko sbk sikhaye 
7 jinhone mere papa ko preshan kiya unse bdla chahiye 
8 un sbhi ladko ko main maaf nhi kr skta jo mere papa ko gali deke mjak udate kyonki wo ek ******* hai 
9 un aone dosto ko maaf nhi kr skta jo apni khusi k liye mujhe brbad kiya ya actual mein main apne aap ko maaf nhi kr paunga ki main apna time, money, apne maa papa k dream ko soche bjay apne dosto k karan apni life brbad kr diya.

10 un professor ya teacher ko nhi bhulna chahta jinhone mujhe kwl draya hai kewl aur ant mein mere time brbad kiya aur bs isliye taki wo thoda superior bn ske ar student professor se dre ki fail to nhi kr dega 

Pr ye thought aur feeling khtm hi nhi ho rhe hai 
Aur kya likhu aise to bhut si inferiority hai sawla hun, pdne m accha nhi hun, dressing sense ni hai, table tennis k 2 aise match hai jinhe haara hun main bhula nhi skta baar basr jb bhi yaad ata hai main emotional ho jata hun, 
akela hun bchpn se, single hun ya koi mtlb nhi kyonki main aaj tk koi crush bnaya hi nhi kyonki main apne aap ko love ya gf iske liye main eligible nhi hun, akele rhna chahta hun puri jindagi bhar , logo espcl dosto se bhut dar lgta chahta hun sbse kewl anonymously hi baat kru, koi talent nhi hai na hi main koi smart hun,
Is note ko bhi likhe se kya fayda isase bhi k6 thik nhi hone wala jo hona hai wo hoga hi main bs dekh skta hun baki jo hona hai wo to hoke hi rhega 

Lonely

I had a crush on a girl who was my classmate in college, I told her my feelings and everything on WhatsApp, and I used to flirt with her. Ek din usne mujhe judge kia or gnda sa taunt mara kuch is type se ki me ye har ldki k sath karta hounga. 
Meri shakal achhi hai, shayad isiliye ladkiyan esa sochti hain ki ye Playboy hai. 🥲

Crush

Aaj kisi ne tumhare shahar ka naam liya. Aur mujhe tumhari yaad aa gyi. Mera man achanak chup sa ho gya. I am missing you. I do. A lot. Everyday. I had very pure feelings for you.. I know that you know this too. lekin hum kabhi ek nhi ho sakte, aur hamara zindagi me shayd itna hi saath tha. Tumhari jagah kabhi koi nhi le sakta. Kitna accha tha sab kuchh. I wish I had never met you kyuki shayd mujhse milke jaane k bad tum kabhi na kabhi apne aap ko blame karte honge. I wish mai tumhe abhi bol paati ki khud ko kabhi blame mat karna. Jo hua it was our destiny. Mai tumhare liye sirf khushiyan chahti hu. Hamesha khush raho. Kisi k saath raho. Use khush rakho. 🥹❤️

Life

Kaabhi phone chalate chalate muh par gira hai

Ek choti si kahani hy ek bande ki....Ek waqt Aisa h ki jab ek Banda apne dukh sukh aur problems ko share karne ek sahara dhund tha h.... Tab usey ek jagah milti hy Jahan kisise b wo apni mann ki baat share kar sakta tha... Wo Banda har roz us jaghe pe kuch na kuch Apne problems ko share karta Raha aur usko baat karne log b mil gaye. Lekin ek din wo soch ne lagta hy yaar my aise kitney din apne mushkilon ko share karta rahunga...log toh meri problems sun rhe h aur samajh b rhe h lekin mere problems toh Kam h nhi hore... Inn mushkilon ko kaise suljhaon...?? Aise Banda phir se soch ne lagta hy meri problem toh share nhi solve karni h kya karoon jis se mere problems solve ho jaye?? 
Please let me know what you suggest for this Banda? (Hindi me kuch gadbadi ho tho pls ignore it😅)
   
 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts