Galat main tha ya nahi, yeh sawaal khada hai aaj bhi,  
Faisla sahi tha ya nahi, yeh sochta hoon baar-baar.  
Insaaf ki kachehri mein, sach ka wakeel bankar,  
Galat main hoon ya nahi, yeh sawaal karta hoon baar-baar....

3am Thoughts

Hello Guys
New to this platform i met someone during covid,she came into my life as a storm
We became good friends and then fwb , and eventually i fell for her. 
Now i am so use to her that i cant imagine things without her and my life revolves around her.She is my lucky charm all good things happen to me since she is been a part of my life
She doesn’t feel the same , sometimes she is herself the way she has always been. But sometimes i feel like I there is no importance
 of mine in her life.
The other thing she knows that i wont leave her as a friend till end
This takes a lot of toll on my mental health

I think i have moved on almost 80%, but just her presence in my life gives  me calmness.
I dont know  how to dealdeal with this situation.


Adulting

Just being with him is so enough, we don't have a romantic relation, but just talking to him, listening to his voice, seeing him makes my day. Is this even love? 

"Shame gets displaced from person to person. Your parents’ shame about
their body, becomes your body-image difficulties. Your grandparents’
shame around their status, becomes your compulsion to collect ever higher￾ranking successes. But you were not put here to carry the shame of others.
Before you were burdened with the weight of it, you were your own. It’s
time you returned to yourself."

Recently had a breakup but smjh nahi arha k meri galti ky thi meko lgta hai shayad zyada hi care krdi coz care kro to dikkt na kro to or dikkt smjh hi nahi aata ky hi karein.?
But i feel so stressful don't know what to do.!

Breakup

I'm here today to talk about my father.
I'm usually against the idea of talking about someone behind their backs, and that too, so visibly. But I also believe in the idea that if someone is fine with harassing someone, they must be okay with other people knowing about it too. 
My father is a bully. He hurts and insults people who don't have the power to say something against him. He browbeats people into listening to what he thinks is right. I used to try to pacify myself by saying "He's only doing this because he wants the best for you and loves you.", but it's been a few years since I really understood that he acts this way just because he can.
Whenever I start thinking about the mental and emotional abuse this man has given me, one incident always shines bright. *TRIGGER WARNING* When I was in 11th-12th, I used to self-harm and I was suicidal. My mom cried when she found out, my father didn't even address it. A few months later, I remember sitting on the floor in their room; my parents and I were having a conversation about what my problem was. Somewhere in the conversation, my father said this: "You can die if you want to, no one's stopping you. I'll feel bad for a few days, and I'll accept it after a few days. It'll just be hard on your mom." I think he meant for it to be motivational, but those are words that I'll never forget in my life. I always laugh when I think about it. 
That was just the icing on the cake: I've been body shamed, called ugly, called dumb, given the silent treatment for 2 months, mocked for my grades, etc etc etc. It continues today too when he tells me to just quit trying to become a doctor.

He has no clue about the things I like, the things I dream of, my ideals, my thoughts, things that I'm passionate about, things that make me emotional. My dad doesn't know me. And I don't think I want him to even try anymore.

See, I understand that he is the way he is because of the way he grew up. His actions can be explained, but they can't be excused. I don't have it in me to be upfront about all of this. The reason is that I have been honest about the way I feel when he body-shames me, but he still continues to do it. This is a man who's so blinded by this belief that what he's doing is right, that he can't ever stop to reconsider. I don't want to put myself in a vulnerable position, only to be insulted again.

I always ask myself why I can't find the strength to work hard and get out of this hellhole. It's true, I can't bring myself to keep working even when I fall. I find it really really hard to get back up. A part of me believes I'm soft and easy on myself because everyone else is hard on me. But if I keep being soft on myself, will I ever get the chance to live without being bullied and criticized; without being controlled? I really hope I have the strength to try.

(PS. When I say 'abuse', I mean ONLY mental and emotional abuse, NOT physical or sexual abuse.)


Family

What was your dream when you were a child and what are you doing now? 🙂

I  love this girl who is my colleague but I don't know how she feels towards me but one thing is sure that she opens up to me about her problems , we take breaks together , she even laughs at my silly joke . The problem is that I wanna confess it to her but am afraid that I might lose this beautiful friendship that we have .

So need your help here guys any suggestions ????

In this world billion of the people but still I'm feeling so Lonely 😔Today

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts