Funny how my girlfriend is telling me that her ex boyfriend dont love her, dont have any care for her and hurting her physically. While i did the opposite showing and telling her everyday how much i love her and planning to marry her soon. But i think she adapted her ex boyfriend’s attitude in a relationship. Getting tired to understand her. Any thoughts?? Dont know what to do
Zak Puckett @ztothephour
People get stuck in their own head and ive just had to conclude there is a serious universal obliviousness problem. Do what ya gotta, but i would recommend remove mentioning marriage, i would say that would set you up to gather your own little trauma bag to carry around. You can wait and see if she snaps out of it. But there is a real possibility you’re the only one in tbe rationship, people do funny things for comfort, myself included.
Agreed marriage can cause some serious damage on relationships
It really hurt me. I love her so much the problem is i gave my 100%.
Its just that i love her bro. But what shes showing me right now is making me think twice
Oh nondoubt it hurts like hell, ive walked more miles in those shoes than i care to admit. I knew i couldnt tell anyone i knew because there is an obvious answer, but i just couldnt agree to it. Its a lonely place where i thoroughly questioned things. You said gave it your all. If your not still giving it then there is only waiting for hurt. I decided to stick it oit and did it more than once, different context but in my head “you cant seriously expect me to hear this and be okay with it”… it gets into tricky territory that may literally require professional. In knew i couldnt respond in any kind of way so that i could address it in the future so she could atleast be obligated to hear me, i told her that i know its reasonable for that to hurt, i had to trust she just had nonidea, but it takes its toll. You gotta fogure out your limits, regardless, this is how you devope compassion. Up to you to become bitter or better
I dont know man. Im really confused right now. I want our relationship to be better but she’s not cooperating man. Im adjusting and she’s telling me that im just asking for more
Zak Puckett @ztothephour
Its tough, ultimately you gotta figure out where to set your limits or if you’re willing to find them(very uncomfortable). Trying to anticipate if you’ll regret either decision is where i found myself. I found most regrets lie in wishing to have done what they didnt do, not where things failed. I knew i had to live with whichever i decided and wanted to make sure i was rigorous enough to be comfortable with myself. Its by no means easy, dont sacrifice yourself, you are worth it first, the more invested the harder it is to cut loses. And believe me, thats no light thing for me to even say. Add me if you want to keep a line open, its hard for me to say much more without just throwing words and seeing what sticks. As far as getting through it, when its unbearable, those are the times you sit with your feels and feel them, the body remembers if you don’t, those are the times for “this too shall pass”, not the problem, but the fog, remember what you feel on the good days to weigh in your thoughts. Life is complicated. It does make sense for it to be appearant how little we really understand that
Sounds complicated but if you are noticing such flags then better be careful .
Shes only what i have right now
Maybe sit down and have a talk with her about how you feel. Some people adapt to prolonged things, like abuse, so she’s used to that and it’s what comforts her. But realizing that it’s not okay and you deserve better is something that takes time and understanding. She should really talk to a therapist about this sort of thing, maybe encourage her to do that.
Talked to her about that and she just laugh at me and she thinks that it is not true. I cannot recommend her to that because she always think that she is right her thoughts are only correct fo her
Im feeling I deserve better you know it’s just that i love her and i dont wanna lose her. Im just hurt about how she is to me
That sounds rough. But you may need to give her some space or even let her go if that continues. She really needs work on herself and figure these things on her own. You’ll only end up hurting both her and yourself if this continues…
Ill talk to her onde again ill try to open it up maybe we can fix this.