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@astrophilic

From past days I have been pulling all nighter for my exams and wish to talk to someone since my family and I have polar opposite topics for discussion and they really can’t comprehend what is happening to me mentally ,there was no use of telling them. My dad is a coward he never accept his mistakes and continue to play victim card ,my mom is same but it’s tolerable somehow. Since they are same they often fight due to my dad’s negligence towards us and so many things. It’s become habit of my mom to nag at him every single chance she gets irrespective whether it’s his fault or not. They never really thought what this does to me. I have been dealing with social anxiety and it’s really bad both mentally and physically. I am attending therapy sessions and it was/is working for me. But today my dad got into fight with my uncle (who is very dear to me) and refuse to accept his mistake. It got soo much bad that I left my dinner untouched. Then as usual it got to my mom. All this time I was shaking from inside thanks to therapy it was not bad as before.Even now I am writing this with shaky hands. It’s all quiet now but what about me I have engineering exam tomorrow and I didn’t study whole day I couldn’t. Since I spoke 1- 2 lines against of him now somewhere deep down I am feeling guilty as a daughter but he was wrong he is wrong. He have minimum balance in his bank still waste money not caring about family what is gonna happen to me what about my future I want to be financially independent as soon as possible and get away from this toxic environment which is restricting my growth. I am 18 as of now I am going to move abroad after I am 20 or 21 I can’t deal with this anymore…
He still hasn’t accepted his mistake never once

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1 reply
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Anonymous

I don’t know what to say, the only thing I can say is that be strong and of they don’t understand you let them be the way they are. Just focus on your caree. Soon you’ll be independent and they you can lead the life you want. I know it isn’t as easy as it sounds but we need to be strong that’s the only way we can survive. I wish soon you’ll be happy🙏🙏

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