For those who think you’ll never get over your love, I assure you, you would. It wouldn’t be spontaneous, but it would gradually and one day you’ll be like “what? What happen to the butterflies in the stomach”. 
Hang in there. You’ll get over that person eventually. 🌸

3am Thoughts

All I wanted was for him to stop texting. Now all I want is for him to text me.
IDK what changed. '_'

What i am feeling right now is- i am not liking the fact that he has already moved on, we have been separated( one year since our last day of college) for a year now- i mean physically separated bcz we talk every damn day ( or we used to) .
He is doing a job and obviously you have to make new friends- and he did- i know, he shared his feelings about me to everybody he met there at job, i guess that what made him moved on so easy !
Oh, i feel so painful when i think that, is everything or everyone replaceable? If that so, so easily? 
I know his job friends helped him move on. Thats why he says, “ when you will do job, you’ll Know”
Is that so ? I dont wanna ever think that. Why would i ever want to feel that i should move on ? 
But i guess its a bit easy for sim since his parents didn’t allow for our marriage.
Its hard ! Everyday i am in a battle with myself and my emotions.
I know , most of you must be reading my thoughts for a while now, i know some of you have helped me with your words, ALOT ACTUALLY, but yes i know that ,you also believe that its not easy, so maybe i am gonna post these things again and again till i have my mind at ease. 
I hope i won’t irritate anyone.


Breakup

I feel kinda bit lost today. My boyfriend had an argument with one of his friends and he started thinking about how he's better to be not in this world anymore like bruh thats so sad and painful for me. But i suppressed my emotions cause i feel like it was really a bad argument.
I really dont know what to do. I tried to asked if what can i do to atleast cheer him up and then he just easily said to me to enjoy my day and that he's fine. Like what?? So i kinda had enough of his attitude so i sarcastically said he was having a perfect attitude right there and guess what? He didnt reply. Now im crying cause i feel helpless and not good enough.  I just wanted to help yk. But shit happens and i dont like how it turned out to be this way.
Ugh. Im so upset. Maybe i should have been more kind, it wouldn't turn out to be this way.

Long Distance Relationship

so it’s been a month since i started dating my boyfriend. everything was going good. but since he stays an hour away and he’s doing engineering so it’s very difficult to miss college and meet, we kind of are in a long distance. i don’t mind doing long distance but since it’s only been a month and we are just getting to know each other, it’s getting hard for me to do this. i want to meet him. but i know it’s difficult. only calling and face timing is not enough for me in a relationship. i want to spend more time with him which looks very difficult cus the upcoming months he’s gonna be more busy. plus on text also lately his replies are getting dry. idk the energy is not the same. i don’t know what to do. 

Boyfriend

I never could go like even 2 days without sh. Someone who was really close who knew everything about me including sh he asked me to talk to him whenever I felt like you know doing sh. I never used to talk and just go ahead and cut myself and when I cut I don't tell him about any of it and when he gets to know that I did it he used to be very disappointed in me but I didn't care.  And once I just was soo tired idk what happen that I went and told him about it I told him about the urge I was feeling at that moment. He tried his best to stop me but I am pretty stubborn so I wasn't listening to him then he told me that I could do whatever I wanted but he would never be proud of me if I did it and he went. I couldn't believe what I just had heard I was angry at him like idk why but I was angry at myself too cause I felt like shit cause I loved tht person soo much tht he was like a thread to my life holding me from attempting something bad. And I couldn't even make him proud?? then why would I even live?? I thought about it the whole night. I didn't do sh that night. I wasn't like proud of myself that I didn't do sh. But in the morning I told him that I didn't do it he didn't believe me at first I mean couldn't believe myself. When he believed he was soo proud of me that I was happy with myself. Now that person isn't in my life rn but he still loves me and I love him too but even if I didn't love him now I would never do anything to disappoint him and that's what is holding me from doing sh and it is been 27 days .

Self Harm

I was in a relationship with someone who was in love with a girl before but because of some issues they left each other , he had his break up in dec and in Jan he came with me , now after 9 months , he saw a post of her ex on insta with some other boy but that post was just a random thing she didn't has a bf , now he wants to go back to the girl as he loves her so much , I'm so worried that what was that we had for 9 months in relationship, in that time he never ever thought of the girl but now he is like dieing for her , now we're not in relationship but we were friends from school time that's why I didn't left him we're staying like friends , I'm trynna leavee him but anyhow he approaches me because he too is in sp kuch pain and depression because that girl isn't coming back , I everyday listens him , understands his feelings and I'm trying to make him feel good but this isn't working , and in this process, I myself am so broken and unhappy that I can't even feel my pain , I'm not able to let it out , can someone help me out in this , what should I do , as I love him so much , I'm not able to leave him neither he is letting me go , bcz he needs me in his pain !!

Lonely

It feels so wierd to reconnect with people who were sp close to you at some point right? Even if you try to reconnect it doesn't happen sometimes. There is a senior of mine who was very close to me, he was like a mentor to me. We use to talk alot about crazy stuff and I was always sure that no matter what happens he will guide me. But last year after October or something I suddenly stopped talking with people as i was in a kinda situation where i wanted to just be away from everyone. Due to which I lost people,friends. After like 6 months I talked to him again but it was not like before. I mean even when i was in that period of not talking to anyone, he never contacted me too, may be he was busy too. But here I feel guilty of not talking first, he is a very good guy and I respect him alot. I want to talk with him just like before. 
Its not the first time, there was this girl who was my very close friend, we were like best friends. I use to visit her parents and be with her, go out for movies and all. Later she moved abroad but still we were in touch, she cam back to india for holidays and we were supposed to meet and a shocking news of my mom death came to me and i had to go to my hometown. I told her everything, she went back to abroad and told me to contact her when am all good. But i was in depression and didn't wanted to talk or bother anyone and even she never contacted me at all even to ask about my status. After 5 months of not talking I messaged her and she sounded so different like a stranger. In that meantime alot has changed in her life and also mine but she didn't say anything. 
I don't understand is it my fault?? Why do i lose people?? 

I’m really stressed. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy now for 3 years but I feel like I’ve been lying to myself. ever since I’ve been young I’ve always been attracted to girls (I’m female) and I know it deep down it’s just I didn’t want to accept it I guess. I really care for this guy too and i don’t want to hurt him because I know he genuinely loves me it’s just I don’t know if I can love him back. I really don’t know what to do anymore.

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