For more than a year, I’ve been dealing with a hunger for breath. When I went to the doctor, he said it might be psychological. But I could not regularly afford to pay to see a therapist. I have had an anxiety problem long before my problem of shortness of breath. I am constantly afraid of losing my loved ones. I can’t even meet my friends in case they have an accident on their way to the meeting place. At home, outside the house, in the car, everywhere, this fear is with me and alive. I’m afraid of death. I have dreams, I’m afraid of not being able to make them come true. At the same time, I don’t believe I can make my dreams come true. My self-esteem is zero, I am studying English teaching, but since I am not confident, I even write this text with Google Translate. I don’t feel like I can achieve anything and I don’t feel like I can be good enough. I think everyone around me actually dislike me, just put up with me. I feel like I’m very ugly. It feels like people get uncomfortable even looking at me. I’m drawing, their not being perfect drives me crazy. I want to be good at everything, I want to be successful in all areas I wish, but I am not good at anything. I love my God, I love the idea of heaven, a place that I can make my dreams come true even if I cannot make them true in the ‘world’. But lately, Im feel like I am losing the belief of God as well.
Perfect can never be beautiful. We need to have some imperfections always to keep going and bettering ourselves daily. At this point of time, only think of yourself. Don’t worry about friends & families health, Everybody have survival instincts and they’ll take care of themselves. Its ok to have dreams, laugh it out with your friends. Start with video calling them followed by meeting them, who knows you meeting them could make their day a wonderful one.
If you are learning English, it means someday you will be mastering it but to speed it up, lets apply it. We make mistake, we learn & we’ll improve on them. Lets laugh on ourselves if we make any mistake but we own them. I wish you all the best for the same.
I actually feel you. One of my friend had similar thoughts. But then we started talking a lot. I was the one on listening end which kind off calm her down. Every conversations started with she being furious but then it use to get cheerful as time passed. 😇😇
Very kind of you! Your friend is very lucky to have a friend like you. I can’t thank you enough for your kind and supportive words!
