for a very long time i’ve been feeling as if im about to break as if every piece of me was being hold toghether by a really thin string that is about to break but somehow is able to hold on. There are moments where i just feel sooo tired like i just want to end with this but idk how. I can’t tell people how i feel, i would hate myself even more for doing so and i can’t help it. I wonder if ill aways live this way, if ill ever feel at ease, if there will come one day where i don’t feel like im keeping anything, where i don’t feel like im hiding. If i could stop the world for a second, if i didn’t have to worry about others, then and only then maybe i could be happy…
Hey, I think I have been going through something similar lately. Two suggestions that might help.
1. Have something to look forward to. I, for instance, have a career goal. I am not able to do much about it in its situation and also the pandemic, but I do a lot of mental calculations about how to reach them. Having something to look forward to is a huge huge blessing. Please find something for yourself.
2. I never talked about my insecurities and issues with anyone for several reasons. One of them was this understanding of life that goes on, and more often than not, we outgrow the situation. So, I don’t wanna be the guy in my group who’ll be mocked whenever we all sit together because I know today’s problem will look too lame to cry over, tomorrow.
So the lesson here is not ‘don’t talk about it cause it’ll be over’ or ‘get over with it already’
Take your own good time, crib about it to whomever you want to, sound silly to the ‘‘enlightened’’ friends, feel the ugly emotion, don’t pretend to be ready until you’re not.
The lesson here is to know that it does get better and it will happen to you too.
Cheers and Good luck