Lia @leelia
for a very long time iโve been feeling as if im about to break as if every piece of me was being hold toghether by a really thin string that is about to break but somehow is able to hold on. There are moments where i just feel sooo tired like i just want to end with this but idk how. I canโt tell people how i feel, i would hate myself even more for doing so and i canโt help it. I wonder if ill aways live this way, if ill ever feel at ease, if there will come one day where i donโt feel like im keeping anything, where i donโt feel like im hiding. If i could stop the world for a second, if i didnโt have to worry about others, then and only then maybe i could be happyโฆ
Hey, I think I have been going through something similar lately. Two suggestions that might help.
1. Have something to look forward to. I, for instance, have a career goal. I am not able to do much about it in its situation and also the pandemic, but I do a lot of mental calculations about how to reach them. Having something to look forward to is a huge huge blessing. Please find something for yourself.
2. I never talked about my insecurities and issues with anyone for several reasons. One of them was this understanding of life that goes on, and more often than not, we outgrow the situation. So, I donโt wanna be the guy in my group whoโll be mocked whenever we all sit together because I know todayโs problem will look too lame to cry over, tomorrow.
So the lesson here is not โdonโt talk about it cause itโll be overโ or โget over with it alreadyโ
Take your own good time, crib about it to whomever you want to, sound silly to the โโenlightenedโโ friends, feel the ugly emotion, donโt pretend to be ready until youโre not.
The lesson here is to know that it does get better and it will happen to you too.
Cheers and Good luck