Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

First world problems for sure but I feel like some might relate.
I really believe my BIGGEST problem in life since forever is that I am the person who loves celebrating people…for Christmas…for birthdays…for everything. I LOVE making people I love feel special. It’s going to be the best time EVER when I have kids. But, over the years I’ve been doing it, going all out for people with zero reciprocation. When I say zero reciprocation, I mean nothing…I am an all-out kind of person…I don’t expect the same back at all but to not want to even see the person (We could hang at home and just chill) or even try at all… how can a normal human not have their feelings hurt. Repeatedly. So then when someone gives you advice, which is to simply stop…stop entertaining those people because it affects you WAY more than them…they don’t care either way. Do it for the people who are there for you. So, you do it right? Then what…then you feel like shit for not being there…even though those people couldn’t care less about your feelings. It’s the craziest battle that I never realized would happen to me. How nutty is that.

Moral of this. Trying to change your habits to better yourself…IS THE HARDEST THING IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. Such a battle. I’ve had a few people tell me that I just think too into things and need to chill. But the real situation is, I’m focusing on working on the things going on inside my head…and the people who don’t…and don’t “think into the things they feel” usually suffer to themselves whether they believe they do or not…that’s the people who think therapy is dumb. Life is about making the time you have here, the happiest…. that also includes working on yourself and changing your negative habits you grew with… because this beautiful peaceful version of yourself so that you can be happy and enjoy life.