Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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Anger IssuesThought

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Anonymous

First it feels very angry and anxious, and then it feels bad and guilty. I see myself as a forceful person forcing my thinking on others.
Its about my sister, she is doing a job from last 2.5 years, working in a IT startup company without any proper pay(on a stipend only) and working like 10-13 hours a day. Which I’m not at all happy with, and I can see her making own loss of time and what she can earn. Sometimes I feel very angry on her because I am trying to explain her and asking to move on to another company from last one year and she is always like yeah I’ll think about it, I’ll look for other companies but not really is concerned about it. She just listen to me but never really try .
And now I feel very angry couple of times and then feel like bust out on her, but rather I choose to talk calmly(and successfully can talk for a few minutes) but in the end it goes like yelling at each other and getting tensed.
As a result of my anger I feel like talking to her on this matter but once we are done a conversation it feels like am I doing this right, am I forcing her. As a matter of fact as much as I try to move her she get more and more rigid about what she feels is right.
How can I make the conversation a healthy conversation and inspire her to move to a better career choice. I don’t want to force her but also don’t want that she spend more time in the same position.

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2 replies
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Anonymous

How about you promote the workplace you want her to work at to her? Like making notes or giving her more information, etc. Assuming from what you said, I don’t think you don’t do any of this but maybe just try harder? Maybe she just doesn’t know how to quit or have a clear path of what is ahead of her career. And she is overworked too so she doesn’t have time to think about herself because she is just so tired. ( I’m so sorry if this sounds so simplistic)

All I can say is don’t tell her, show her. Ease up the process for her. It might take your time but it’s worth it! If you’re that desperate to see her to move on that it means you can help her too! The potential is there.

If this doesn’t work, just ask her why she wants to stay. And do anything that can help her to a better place. Don’t argue with her but let her take the bite with what you have to offer. (I’m sorry is you’re cringing while reading this lol)

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Anonymous

Great, Thank you. Cringing is fine but I appreciate the things you noticed and mentioned. Sometimes seeing your nose is hard until someone give you mirror, and you just did it.
The advise of making the process easy and instead of just telling, trying to show her the possibilities will help better and faster.
Thanks again for writing. 😌

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