Fights
Constant and frequent and increasing in intensity
I love him
We have been together for 6 years
WE have made so much mistakes 
Now, fighting on small issue which manifest past problems and make it bigger
Its me who says sorry to settle things but the words that I left unsaid keep building up inside me and hurting me mostly
I am in constant sadness and pain
No, word to put it together how badly I want the warmth I felt before.
Like, I am lost in a white fog. 

Thankyou so much for your support. I just wish things to get normal but whenever it does, it becomes more worse again.

Why for worst tho? I am putting efforts and its been so lonely alone. He's getting gloomy and in a mood over things that I can't fathom are capable of those reactions. To be very honest, Its hard keeping peace. Last year's diwali, amd this year's too. My bday this year and last year too. These four major occasions are met with confusion, disturbance and fights. I am like so deeply hurt. My eyes fill whenever I think of it. He's the person whom I trust for each of my problems but now I can't run to him. I can't discuss relationship with friends either not my sister. I am so hella lonely. Trying to make things better that only getting worse.

I have sent you a req .. yesterday to connect 

Relationships

I have a friend, let's call him A. I really love this guy (as a best friend). Even he says so. But we rarely talk... like whenever he needs to ask something or needs something he calls or messages, but not without it. Like 2-3 months pass and we don't talk or message to each other. Whenever I feel emotional neglect or some issue, he is never there. He has good humour, but whenever I try to discuss some genuine problem of mine, he just laughs it off... he doesn't listen to it at all...I just feel so alone... last time we didn't talk for like 10 months and I fought with him over it and he apologised and I gave him another chance... this has repeated so many times... I feel neglected and left alone...He is in college and I am preparing for an entrance test and I know that he is busier than me but why can't he just message me once on Whatsapp or just check if I am alive?? I feel drained many times when I talk to him and I find it weird as he is my best friend. All his talk surround around his life, his carrier, his girlfriends... he never asks anything about me... how I am or what am I doing.. I feel used but I really adore our friendship... I can't message him every time no... I also have some self-respect but I miss our friendship, our memories... I am just stuck... I only have 2-3 friends...and he was the dearest.. I fought for him with the rest of my friends and was abandoned by them... one of my those friends thought that "something was going on between us" as of course a girl and a boy can't be best friends! But I really adored him..a best friend's neglect pains more than a boyfriend... I know it is his life.. but can't he give a little space to me?? I have forgiven him so many mistakes just for our sake and I just get loneliness and neglect in return.. one time he said that I don't have any talks to do with you as you and I are for different career lines and we can't be friends.."have you ever seen a lawyer and engineer as friends??" was his exact line... i felt so broken after that but I forgave him later when he said sorry... when he got covid, I messaged him each day and prayed for his recovery... and now, he just even doesn't bother to say hi to me even as he is online 24*7...
Why am I left by each friend I made?? Am I not good enough?? If yes then why there isn't a single person in my callbook whom I can just call or message frankly and we just talk?? my parents are always so busy in their life, they hate me too because of my failures.. why am I so lonely?? Why do people I trust or love always leave me?? Is it my looks or my overweightedness??
I don't know... I would never complain.. but I miss you, bro.. I miss our jokes and chats..but I know that u also don't need me now and that's ok... many have left and now you too did it.. no regrets.. just be happy... I will vanish and maybe 50 years later we meet in some random place and we move past each other without recognising each other... everything has an end.. this friendship too ended right here.. just be happy in your life..
I was always there for you, A and you were never... my heart bleeds as I am writing this..

Friends

One of the sweetest chapter in my life ended 4 months ago and I pushed him away bcoz he was so much into me he would literally start his day with me and end it with me only , if it was one hour gap or he couldn't see me around he would go mad and emotional and get hurt 
I couldn't see  him hurting bcoz he started overdoing everything 
And usko meri har chhoti chiz se hurt hone laga 
I finally told him mai uski weakness nai Banna chahti uska aim goals sab kuch bhul gaya tha vo itna unproductive hogaya tha 
And I realised that i couldn't stand it 
I can't see someone going down in the matter of love..
I miss him.. I just hope he is doing well and he is fine 


Hope

hey guys, just found out something that shocked about the guy that i loved and thought loved me back. i think he moved on already just after a few months after telling me i am his world and  making me believe it. It hurts alot. its the first time i sat alone and really thought about it, that i lost him, for real. i cried alot and i am still sobbbing. How does life continue after this ? (like not a cheesy way) just that i feel so hurt, betrayed and stupid that i believed him and kept thinking about him every single day since the breakup and that we still have hope.. it seems like he tricked me
I feel really hurt 
Just any advice or anything anyone , i am really not looking for answers just reassurance that everything is going to be okay becuase i right now i feel like its never going to be

Anxiety

Was in a relationship some time ago.. It was toxic.. Broke up.. Moved on... Said yes for arranged marriage. 
Now marriage is getting fixed
Mom knows had a bf before and she doesn't want me to EVER say this to my future husband. 
What she doesn't know is that I was sexually active with him. 
So should I share my past relationship status with my soon to be or not? 
I am scared that even if he is ok with this his family won't be. 

Confusion

I really needed to say this to someone so i wrote it here...its kinda complicated not kind of, its complicated indeed. I've been in a relationship I guess it has been more than 1½yr for that and we broke up cause of trust issues. It was really hard for me to get over him. I had spent many nights crying for him(I'm fine now) and then I got into another relationship. He was  really a good friend of mine and i was his crush from 6th standard. My friends started teasing me with his name from a few months and i thought i have feelings for him so i said him yes but i think i don't have genuine feelings like that for him. Also the memories of my ex are hitting me. Idk what should I do i literally end up crying over my situation. It's really very hard to get out of it like i can't even go back to my ex and i can't say him that I don't have feelings for you. I'm scared that I'll lose our friendship. Can anyone suggest what should i do
:/

3am Thoughts

I am so splenetic, i didn't know. I love him but i said such things to him that even those words stinging me. I never imagined that I would ever say such things to him. We were in long distance relationship. He disabled his every social media accounts after that. Idk I don't have the guts to sms him. I emailed him but he didn't reply. Idk what should I do. I am regretting a lot now... But he used to say such mean things and abused me & my family sometimes. I tolerated for few but when he started doing that often, i stopped talking to him. But then he said that he would never do that again but he did that again. & This time I insulted in such a way that even I feel suicidal. No, I never used bad words for him but I said mean and rude things. I was confused whether he really love me or not sometime bcoz he sometime makes me feel unwanted and insecure. But I love him that doesn't mean i'd tolerate him treating like shit and let it go. I just want to talk to him even if it is last time. just want to clear things. idk how can i cajole him... 

Long Distance Relationship

Toxic relationship or what tell me please: So it started with a relationship which lasted 2 yrs. I met this guy(let's say Y) through a frnd on insta for dating purpose only. At that time i  had got out of a relationship and he was also single but he was obsessed with his ex who left him. Since I on the other hand had made no efforts in the earlier relationship, was willing to do everything I could do in this relationship. Although I was talking to my ex but Y on got in a relationship with his ex with whom he was obsessed while being in a relationship with me. This continued for 2 months when again that girl dumped him and he he decided to stay with me.. Until then I was unaware that he was in a relationship with his ex. I started listening to everything he said or asked me to from blocking guys on insta to stop talking to my girl friends I did everything to please him and show him that i was loyal to him and I won't do anything like his ex .. 6 months later he found out my chats with my ex ( I had stopped taking to my ex in the 3 month only) but he created a scene for that he called my ex and my ex being my ex told him how I wasn't serious for him and all.. He told me all nasty things for talking to my ex and came back with me but in a way that he was doing a favor on me. Then 8 months later I found out from the chats that he was in a relationship with his ex I just asked him casually that why he did so for which he did all sort of drama that I am sorry I did it by mistake now I love only u n all. Again I got back with him constantly pushing myself to prove myself to him that I worthy of him. Then once my old guy frnd msged me on WhatsApp I did just hi hello and then I blocked him thinking that if he finds out he'll create a scene.. I did mentioned about that frd to my best frnd so he read it from her chat and when I told him that I deleted the chats he called that guy and went and fought with him and then told. Me all bad things about how I should be loyal and all to him.. He took my WhatsApp after that. Then after some time it was my best friend's birthday but he ordered me not to go there and did emotional drama that if I am important to u then block her. I did that even and got away from. My friends. I even cancelled going to delhi for my clg studies and stayed in my city because he said he can't live away from me and long distance doesn't works. He asked me to take a girls clg here in my city but my parents got me into a coed one because it's reputation is better and studies are also better in it. So he had problems with anyone I had a talk to.. I just msged a guy from clg and he saw it on my WhatsApp and told me I am slut and all sort of things which no one should hear. Then he cried and apologize and said to come back .. I was so dumb I got back with him and as he said that he was changed person I even sent him a conversation with a guy classmate after that but again he told me how I was flirting and was too friendly with that guy just because I had send a 😂 emoji. He told me he wants to end it and doesn't wants to stay with a person like me "jo dusre ldko ke gand me ghusti h" . Then we brokeup but he wants to be just frnds now and says he'll change himself but I don't understand a person who tells his frnds that I cheated on him by talking to other guys when all I ever did was had a normal conversation, how can this guy change and if he wants to stay frnds what can I do because when I tell him I don't want to be frnds he asks me to meet him and then he manipulates me with crying and I can't see him crying and miserable and if I disagree to meet he gets angry and calls my mom. And threatens me to call my family and tell them about us. I don't know what to do. PLEASE HELP ME! 

Breakup

Hey 
It's been approx an year since I broke up with him. I loved him alot and I think I still love him and that's what making me more guilty. The pain the sorrow the jolt that should hit me when I think of loosing him is nowhere I still feel nothing have been changed and we are still together I can still feel his presence whenever think of him, right now. It's been awkward for me I should move on without thinking much but I am still standing where we left apart. It feels like I have talked to him yesterday only and again in the morning the good morning text will come. I am not sad or crying nothing but I am not able to accept the fact that we are no more together I shall move on and explore but I can't 😔😔. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts