Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Few months ago me and my boyfriend of 1.5 years had a huge fight and he broke up with me. But it didn’t seem like much, I knew we were going to make up in a day or two. But that very day he ran away to another city with his ex girlfriend. He called me up the next day to confess and apologize. I couldn’t believe it. Even though we were broken up that time I felt like had been cheated on. It wasn’t even 12 hours after our break up. When he called me he was panicking and the first thing he told me was that he hooked up with her. But as he got calmer he told me they didn’t really hook up. They just cuddled. I don’t know how much of it was true. I wanted to trust him but I just couldn’t. The subsequent months he begged me to come back and apologized for this terrible thing. He told me he couldn’t live w himself after what he put me through. A lot of times I tried to put this thing behind and give us another chance but it didn’t happen. I would breakup in a day or two because I just couldn’t forget what he had done. After 5-6 months, I finally felt like what he did was more in the background and I still had feelings for him. So I gave us another chance. Before this, he had said so many things to me about how he would treat me and how I’d be in the happiest relationship and how he’d build the trust back up. But when I finally said yes to being together idk, the relationship felt anything but good. For starters I had become very insecure, from the trauma that he had given me. I was very distrusting. I started overthinking a lot. Before this I wasn’t very possessive. I used to be very chill and didn’t care about who he was talking to or meeting. But now suddenly I felt very insecure. We had an open conversation about it too, where I explained to him my trust issues and how I will be a little restrictive for a while. He said he accepts that. But soon things started to get really bad. He’s doing masters so he has absolutely no time on his hand, we hardly talked and it bugged me a lot. He was anything but affectionate to me and wasn’t very attentive. Yesterday he posted a screenshot of a conversation on his Instagram story. It looked very shady, as the contact name was removed and everything. I asked him who it was and he told me a name. But in my followers a girl had reposted his story. He probably thought I wasn’t following her. I asked him further questions to check if he mentions that girl, but he didn’t. He straight up lied. When I confronted him finally, he said he was confused about who I was talking to. I let go of a lot of things to come back to this relationship and to give him a chance. But this just felt like a betrayal when he just lied to me. I kept asking him but kept turning things around. Idk if this was a big enough thing, but we were anyway on very delicate ground and I felt like it was best that I broke up. I feel really bad, I tried to be so good to him and did everything right but it just didn’t work out and I feel very disappointed.