Feeling so lost in life right now !!!I envy those who know thier purpose 

Growing Up

Uske Prem k bhi karzdaar rahenge hum hamesha..
Jisne yeh jante hue bhi prem kiya..
Ki hum uske hisse me kabhi likhe hi nahi jayenge..

Hope

Me humesha ek ladki ki talash me raha hu lekin aaj tak mili nahi kab puri hogi ye talash I'm waiting 

3am Thoughts

Please keep in mind- 
that how you feel about someone and how they make you feel are two very different things.

Compassion

Coming here everytime felt so bad but i got no option, its just whenever i feel i got no one's ears to listen 'sigh' well here we go.
Ok so my today's day wasn't going good like boring boring..soo sham ko i slept out of boring haha and woked up to a text from a old friend of mine who wasn't just a friend but once my bestie but things weren't really worked out ..its like that friend had given me nothing good at once but a betrayal and made me question myself everytime i try to make a new friend, insecurities, am i not enough things well its been 1 year to that days where i have been on my worst...(that friend had ditched me on a trip where i have gone only for that person and that only person behave that i was no one but  a stranger i was legit left alone..have been through that trip almost alone but the thing is that person legit have a audacity to still have a convo..idk should i reply or seen zone it idk legit..my mind is all clueless..since that message i have seen my mind is having all that sorrowful event ughhhh and it justttt  i wanted to rant that's it. Idunno if i really should reply to that friend ruthless or not its just i always that bad person who's always fighting to have a stable relation but everytime it just fell apart and abhi bhi aisa hi lag rha ke m hi humesha har cheez ko bada bna deti humeshaa mai hi ladti but what did i do to deserve this kind of friendship which made me hate myself a lot..
The texts says 
Heyyy long time no see
How you doing.
As if they really don't know what they have done to me its hurting so fucking bad that days still haunts me. My tears aren't stopping since the message have been popped up ughhh

What if someone cheated u, promise u will married u, use u for his lust satisfaction and leave without any closure. Not even a proper sorry. But u can’t accept the betrayal and u need proper closure. At least a sorry from him. What should I do? Because whenever I kept this feeling in me, I feel like to revenge on him. Pls help me 

Breakup

"Make your passion your profession. Then work will become play." 💓

Life

Im just so tired of being ugly. today i have to pick out my pictures from when i was younger for my school yearbook and looking at them has made me realize something. I used to be so pretty as a kid. Back then i was still skinny and i had a beautiful smile and i still had my baby curls in my hair. i feel like ive disappointed the little girl in those pictures somehow because i managed to grow up looking worse than i did as a kid. You know those people that will post their childhood pictures and compare them to current ones saying they had a glow up? i like that trend and i think its fun but i could never do it because compared to my pictures from the past i look like shit. When i was younger i used to hate how i looked. I used to cling to the hope that in the future, once im in highschool, id magically look pretty. Now here i am in my senior year and i still despise how i look. at 10 years old as a chubby little elementary schooler i used to lie in bed at night and remind myself over and over that "its ok, ill be skinny when im older. chubby babies turn into skinny adults, right?" and i believed with every fiber of my being that that was true. I believed that i would loose weight with age and that one day i would look like the other girls i see at school and on the tv screen. But here i am in my senior year....still fat, still wearing ugly clothes, and still having an awkward smile. Now i know what youre thinking "everyone is beautiful in thier own way," "you dont have to be a model to find love" but in my generation everyone is obsessed with image, if youre ugly youre not going to make any friends or get a boyfriend, its practically impossible. im so jealous of those girls that can get anything they want in life just because thier pretty. Doors just automatically open up for them and they are loved whereever they go. meanwhile i couldnt be farther from those girls, most people hate me and i havent had a boyfriend since middle school. i have the same humor as them, the same tastes in fashion, the same hobbies.....so why is it they get to be popular and i dont? because theyre prettty. and i have to wrok ten times as hard as them to fit in. im so tired of being ugly. ive tried loosing weight and it went really well! I lost ten pounds in four weeks. but that was during summer camp when i could actually do what i wanted to. But now i live with my parents and i cant go for walks anymore after school because i have to watch my little sister every single day and i cant be vegetarian like i was at camp because my parents eat a lot of meat. so now i know that I CAN loose weight but i cant do anything about it for the entire rest of the year that i live with my parents and its the most frustrating thing in the world wanting to do something but physica,ly not being able to. i just want to be fucking skinny. thats all i want in life. ive honestly thought about just not eating, because at least then i would lose weight but then i think about how damaging that is for your body an di dont want to loose my hair and feel sick all of the time. but a part of me still feels like its worth it. I try working out at night when my parents and sister are in bed but by that time at night im already too tired to move. and i tried skipping breakfast but then when i come home after school my fat ass just starts eating snacks to make up for it anyway. it feels like theres nothing i can do and i feel so hopeless. I just want to be small so that someone will want to hold me in their arms and i want to buy the clothes that i like because they will actually fit and i want to get complients from people in public and i want to have guys give me their number and i want to be able to walk around without worrying about what angle people are seeing me from and i want to take pictures of myself without cropping out my stomach and i want my friends in my group to take pictures of me instead of me always being the photographer and not having a single picture of myself. i just want to be pretty and the fact that im not is killing me. 

Jealous

You are worthy and deserving of the best. There is not a single thing that is too good for you, or too good to be true.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts