Feeling satisfied with life and learning to push some limits, to become a better version of myself.

Life

My soon to be ex wife went no contact for the week to test a separation and it’s killing me that my person my go to my safe place is missing. She was the one I talked to and texted and called and FaceTimed. This is so insanely hard being the one that doesn’t want the separation and having no say. I don’t know how to move on when she gives me hope every once in a while. Some days I can’t stop eating others I can’t eat a bite. I’m so over this unknown. When I brought up filing she said she wasn’t ready but wants to buy her own house. I’m so confused and I don’t know how to stand up for myself. 

Divorce

How can you just get played by someone who wanted you first. 
Like this guy treated me as his priority and now he's happy with his girlfriend, and I'm just an option for him. 

Anxiety

Fucked up 

today was unproductive day all did was watch friends nd be in my bed nd feeling of tiredness all day long need to do better tomorrow 

3am Thoughts

Should I waste time in teaching my sister to pay attention on her studies. I know I should leave it to her but then I think about hard earned money and her future. Everytime I speak to her, I feel so down. May be my priority should be my mental health and mine career.

Education

No one here to spend time with me 

Lonely

Guys I am overthinking again about to cry about few things which has happened I mean my depression ... Unable to hold want to cry loud but I can't....

I don’t know what to do anymore… I feel like no matter how hard I try to be better I always fall back into a dark place and everyone around me thinks I’m a happy person. The only person that has ever made me feel happy and like things would get better now feels like a stranger. I see her posts and it makes me smile seeing her so happy. She’s the only person I’ve ever felt safe letting my emotions out to but now if I was to message her even just a hello and how are you going I apparently make her feel like shit. It’s not far away from her birthday and I would love to send her a happy birthday message but I also don’t want to because I want her to be able to have and amazing day and not have me ruin it. 
I’ve had some of my “friends” say that I need to forget about her but i moved away to try to start over but no matter how many new people I meet that I feel like I am getting closer to she is always the one person I can never get out of my head after everything we had gotten through and I am so proud of how far she has come.

I don’t know if anything makes sense but that’s just what’s on my mind

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts