Feeling messy.have a lot work to do but am in stuck with my mind

Thanks Aryan...... actually I am trying all those things you know.......but today a hectic travel and some other stuff kept me aside.
That's y
Thank you🥰

Work

To reveal one’s true intention, test it with time. 

Life

Can anyone suggest any online earning methods 

3am Thoughts

Major communication issues between me and my father resulted in me being a total mess. I blamed everything on him. Every time something bad would happen and I would blame my father. My father shifting to another place due to work made me understand that it was my mind which just wanted to blame somebody instead of resolving the problem. If there are parental conflicts I would suggest that first you reflect upon your thoughts, emotions, feelings and behaviour. 

Relationships

Like a month ago I tired opening up to my best friend. We have been best friends for about six years now. I’m the therapist friend so I have always been on her side! And always been there for her when she needed it! But she has never done that for me. So back to the story. My grandpa just died. One hour after he died I walked into the room he had died in and saw his body. It wasn’t even human. I will not explain about how it looked like but I will say how it felt to see it. I was empty. It just them hit me that I would never talk or see him again. A few days later was the funeral. I didn’t cry during the funeral but when they lifted up the chest and carried it outside I broke down. My depression started when he was sick but now it was worse. So I was walking with my best friend and I decide to open up. I say:
 “Do you ever feel like you want to die?”
 “Yes”
“Oh, so when you see a tall tree you think: it could jump of that tree I will be free”
“ yes. Did you know I’m depressed.”
So now I couldn’t really open up anymore because she was also feeling it. 

Later I asked her how she felt about life and she just said the it was poop and nothing more. It’s like she doesn’t care or get me. I tired multiple times but I got like no reaction. Now I’m pretty sure that she is fine but still can’t she just listen and try to understand!!!!!

I really hope that I didn’t waste your time. I just wanted to say some of my stories of one of my best friends. I have been trying to be a bit more distant, is that a good idea? Ty for reading❤️

Depression

I am very confused and afraid. I was preparing for a  college entrance exam for two years. I had taken a second drop. I got a good rank and college this time. But I feel that I didn't prepare at all for that. I feel like I wasn't the deserving one. I feel very scared. I am a very introvert and an average student. I feel afraid talking to people. I feel like they would laugh at me as I am obese and not beautiful. I feel like no one will be friends with me. I feel as if I made a wrong carrier decision, in fact, I feel like I am not normal. I have no one around to share this feeling. I don't know what to do. I feel like running away somewhere. I don't want to talk to people. I should be happy but I am not. Am I crazy?? I don't know what to do. I haven't got any friends for the last 2 years and now I am afraid to go into the college. 

I feel myself changing. I don’t laugh the same anymore, I don’t smile the same, or talk the same. I’m just tired of everything.

Hello! How are you folks doing? This covid is rising again and lockdown again I feel anxious about it....I just sometimes feel I could just skip to the part of life where I'm living on my own a cozy corner with a novel in hand and peace in my mind...thinking about how it all worked out and I was just panicking alott! I know the journey is crucial so to have the value of the destination but ye safar abhi suffer m badal raha h, Its just heart feels heavy...I don't express doesn't mean I'm not going through anything and why shud I even go through anything for my fam to be kind to me not even kind but treat me like a human they think I'm a stone I feel nothing I want nothing and I just put them above me everytime I have been their emotional support but it's an intangible thing na so doesn't count I guess anyways I don't even want it just behave like am a living entity with wants needs emotions future....I ssly can't wait to move out and explore life and even myself, my mind constantly runs with these thoughts sometimes it feels nice sometimes it gets overwhelming today is one such day. Thanks for listening. Take care stay safe💙

Stress

I am thinking about my beautiful Margo.￼

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts