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@mytimenow

Feeling like shit again, will this ever stop, I bout it.
Where do I start?
So a couple of days ago I starved myself for almost 2 days because I felt disgusting, ugly, fat, worthless. I am getting too overwhelmed, I get irritated too easily and it gets to be a lot…I just want to be alone but my sibling-like to be with me a lot and I haven´t been getting to be alone for some time it which irritates me. When I tell them to leave me alone they never listen and make me want to cry because I am so frustrated to the point where it’s hard to breathe.
I can´t deal with any of this anymore, I want to cut myself in hope of reliving some stress, I feel trapped.
In some sort of way, I want to apologize to my family for not being what they wanted, a hard-working daughter, my sister is the definition of what my parents wanted…and me? maybe not.
I bet they are embarrassed by me, you know I just want them to tell me they love me that is all it would take to make me feel better but not anymore. Never, ever were they proud of me or hugged me when I needed it.
Idk anymore…I feel lost and empty…sadly this isn´t even all that I feel
I feel so pathetic I want to laugh of embarrassment.

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3 replies

jay @jay12

Hey Buddy it’s okay to be chubby you don’t need to skip food and it’s okay to be getting fit but don’t pressurize your self

@vidhita

it’s okay if you feel this way. you are a human and your feelings are completely valid. just think about the situation that is starving gonna help you? no right. it will make you sicker and then you will get demotivated again. talk to your siblings about how you feel. and start practicing yoga. don’t worry about your appearance focus on achieving skills, good health, and a good state of mind. that will automatically help you being happy and then you can look after your body as well.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199

Simran @st1199

Hey!
How are you feeling after writing it down? A bit calm and relaxed?😀
I understand completely, sometimes for no reason and having reasons we get irritated and past things rush in our mind and it frustrates us more, right? Been there.

Don’t force yourself to do something rather start working out if you feel your body needs some changes. Exercising can help, personal experience. Expectations all parents have but that doesn’t mean you have to fulfill all. You are good at something which your sister isn’t. I have a younger brother and we have different qualities and I don’t let that affect me or have an impact if my parents say something or compare for that matter. It’s how we train our minds after a point. 💜💫

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