Feeling heavy, need to let it out, need unbiased inputs.
There’s a party that’s being planned which includes 10-11 people (my friends, my sibling, cousins etc). We booked a farmhouse. We took a token amount from everyone saying that we might or might not need more. I paid the deposit and the planning started, we realised we might need a couple of hundred rs each from everyone and informed them. A group of 4 people (a friend of mine, her sister and 2 more girls) started to fuss a bit about that as they explained how they won’t be able to give extra due to budget constraints. My friend’s sister asked for the breakdown of expenses, as they were not feeling convinced that it’s costing this much even though I told them all of this is just an estimate. They also suggested the idea of withdrawing which made me feel bad. All of it sounded odd to me because the friend is very close and we have never had money issues before.
I got transparent with her and told her this made me feel bad because they didn’t consider that I’ve paid the rent, and if they withdraw, we would have to pay such a hefty amount, so I said it was a little inconsiderate. I also said that they are not giving me time because it’s an estimate, we are still trying to squeeze in the amount everyone paid. She cleared it out stating a few points in her words:
1. “I didn’t know that you had already made the deposit before suggesting that we withdraw”
2. “The reason why we said that because we thought we were being cheap for not being able to pay extra and making it difficult for you”
3. “We don’t want to burn a hole in your pocket and we don’t want the money back we were just hoping everything could be done in what was already paid, we are coming from a budget pov”
4. “We wanted to clear everything out before you purchased everything that’s why we said it now”
She then went on to tell me individually the budget constraints of everyone and we decided that let’s settle on a smaller amount and do some cost cutting. I was okay with it all, because I know her. We have been so tight and never had problems with money, she is so kind and not fussy so I thought I should cut her some slack, that if she is pressing so hard for just a couple of hundreds, she might be coming from a genuine place.
All this considered, I still can’t shake the odd feeling, I am still feeling bad and I feel like I am responsible for all of this because I chose to invite them. I don’t know how to approach this, how it looks to people who don’t know us. I guess I just want an unbiased opinion and input on it to feel a little better. I don’t want to feel so bitter.
