Everything has been so overwhelming lately that I just don't have the motivation to do anything anymore. I don't know how to overcome this pain anymore.

This is a series of unfortunate events on the last leg of 2022. Idk what else to feel nor should I react to it but with these I’d say “what’s the worst thing that could happen”…

Other

Hi everyone
I am a 30 years old working female.My family have been searching grooms for me since few years but they aren't able to right match...one way or other things are not working out.They are quiet worried of me being an old spinster.I am a first grade gov official and I earn decent.Now the problem is that since my family is not able to find someone who is compatible with me in terms of career or earning we can say...they have come to compromising state...the guy they now have come to conclusion for me is struggling and I have no idea will he be pull up with expenses or not..I do want to make it clear I have no problem in marrying someone earning lesser and I would also like to contribute to family expenses and all but I don't find him enthusiastic enough to grow or do something in life ....only his family has good background (his father is in good position)but I also do have dream of marrying someone who have built himself up on his own or at least has potential of it.I can't see my parents getting worried about me everyday...sometimes I feel I should just give up and marry him coz time is running out and I also do have no options left.I am not sure what should I do..please help me out to make a decision....am I being choosy..I donno...One more thing I want to confess is that i too have found few stable guys but they look too old for their age...I know I m being choosy about looks..but I was at least hoping someone average looking.i know I have this drawback and I confess this myself...I am 30 but I keep myself fit totally by eating good and exercising almost daily...if I expect someone to be near about average looking for myself..is that wrong......Hoping for some honest opinions

Growing Up

If you think it's hard to always be compared to. It's harder to be on the left side of the equation. It's harder to be the standard. It's harder to maintain. It's harder to be consistent. It's very hard to break down 

3am Thoughts

I feel I'm being used.  :( 
But I can't tell, he's too casual


I have the sudden urge to rad into roman and greek mythology. Egyptian mythology has always fascinated me since I was young even considered studying hieroglyphics. I think it'll also help write a bit of my poetry.

Books

Good

Crush

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and 4 months now, things are going great. But lately, his ex girl best friend has been making me feel a little suspicious and frustrated. She's really beautiful, has a good figure, we even used to date for a bit. But now, just seeing her makes my blood boil for some reason. A long time ago, while talking about her, I called her pretty and he agreed and called her "beautiful". I know it was a long time ago, but I still think if it to this day.
Now, though, his view of her changed - so he says - and he'll sometimes even diss her. But sometimes I feel like he's just saying those things to make me feel less shitty. He knows I don't like her and he knows what I don't like about her. But I see him glance at her sometimes. They'll be quick glances or sometimes he even turns slightly to glance at her. I'm not sure if it's him noticing her or noticing me noticing her.
There have been instances where her and her sister have seen us or me and whisper something to each other after looking at us. There was a basketball game one time at school, where - out of all the possible empty seafs in our huge gym - her and her sister sat right in front of me and him. We shared a confused look and needless to say, my night was ruined. Luckily, though, he moved us away to different seats. 
Then the next night, at dinner, they walked into thr cafeteria not long after seeing us walk in and sat down at the table directly next to us, facing us. Another night ruined. 
And finally, last night, I was alone at another basketball game for a while until my bf made it. Once he did and we sat down, they moved to sit across the gym - directly across from us not long after. Then, during half time, they moved to sit behind us, just a couple rows up.  Then at the beginning of 4th, they moved back across the gym. I'm not sure if she's up to something or if I'm just insecure but I'm really starting to feel put off by her. Someone please suggest something. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts