Every time I think of my dad it hurts honestly

He never really is there and generally doesn't give a flying fuck what happens to me. he's only ever around for money or drugs and it just hurts when he won't even look at me

There must be some reason to do so. Hate isn't that easy to develop within. Must've been a long time with those things which lead you to what you are feeling now. 

Family

My father is annoying as hell

My father said I don't deserve anyone's attention and love 😭

Failure

Is anyone here who has bad dad ..... .. cuz I have a very bad dad... When I was 6 or 7 years old my dad used Come home drunk and starts arguing with my mother and he beats her and I couldn't do anything.. I was so afraid and I cried and do nothing and this happened every night almost half of 1 year it happens .. and now I am 16 years old and still this is happening and I can't do nothing I just seperate then when they starts arguing and I wished I don't have a father or I ask God that to take him I don't need him our source of money is from my mother she is so hardworking and I wished it was only me and my mom .. but my father he uses mom's money and  we don't need him but we don't have anywhere else to go... I just want to beat him and feels like to kill him .... But I just can't because these 16 years I have lived in fear and my relatives tell me that my father was like this before marrying my mom ..  I just want to suicide and end these all things but I have to help my mom.. so I just can't.. . Why there are these types of father and I guess some of others have bad mom also .... Hope you all have a good parents... Don't worry one day I'll beat my father and show him that what he have done to us... Please pray for mu father to die soon 

Hi guys, an Indian girl here. I really needed a place to vent and pour my heart out in a forum that is non-judgemental. 

I have never seen my parents happy with each other. Always bickering, fighting, and name-calling and there have been rampant instances of physical abuse on my mother by my dad over the past 30 years. 

My mother comes from an extremely well-off family, is well-educated, an independent woman, and worked at a bank. My father hails from a not-that-well-to-do family, is well-educated, and worked in a senior position at a manufacturing firm. He is a narcissist, an egocentric individual who is slightly sexist too. The kind of person who blames other people for his failures and problems. It is taking me a lot of courage to speak up but my father has been so violent with my mother during their early years of marriage that one day he accidentally broke my mom's nose. He has beaten her up very badly that it gave her bruises all over her back, hand, and legs. My mother has often left home in the middle of the night and we took shelter in public places: sometimes in a temple, sometimes at a bus stop and my father could be least bothered about it. He had filed a divorce case once and we started living separately. I was 7 years old back then. I am talking about early 1999. Indian society has always been condescending to single women and I am talking about a time when it was not very common in India for middle-class women to leave their husband's homes and live on their own. We have faced backlash, and humiliation wherever we went. My mother has tried to shield me the best she could but society is always cruel. 

When I see the people I have known living happier lives, living their dreams, I can't help but get jealous and lament about the life I have never had. A traumatic childhood, unloving grandparents, being considered a burden, I have seen it all. I have been affected by the mental trauma inflicted by my father which has molded us for the worst. I have been in severe depression for the past several years, have no social life, no friends, never been in a relationship. My past demons are so dominant that it has affected me in ways I cannot imagine.

This is not a cry for help. I just want to get out of my past and live a better life.

Depression

***Trigger Warning***
I tend to remain happy and calm all the time.Do my work passionately and sincerely,behave decently at public places. But at home,especially when my father tries to put any decision on me,I get pissed off.Really really pissed off.When an argument gets heated between us,he acts like a stranger to me and drags my mother in between as if she is responsible for my arguing.
I really hate my father.

Mental Health

How is it even possible to have respect for your father even though you hate him to your core? 

Anxiety

I hate when my dad tells me I do nothing all day.
I was eating in my living room with my sibling and my dad got home from work, you see I only see my dad past 8 PM and the whole day on Sundays. But no the first thing he said to me when he got home was "you should bathe the dogs...you never do anything but just laying on the bed with your phone". I was just eating peacefully with my sibling and was fucking tired of doing hw and was feeling down already. I only do my hw until 7 PM and after that, I rest and play on my phone. Even If I tell him that I do he doesn't care, and now my eyes are tearing because whatever I do they always have to complain about it. He doesn't know what I do all day yet he still says he does know. He isn't even here every day so why does he keep judging me...I feel exhausted from being part of this family.
They just keep giving me more reasons to end my life.

I hate when my dad tells me to Kms and screams at me but 10 minutes later he wants to be buddy buddy with no apology 

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