Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Every time I dare to talk down on myself after looking at my own reflection i remember this moment; I was listening to music very loudly on my computer, I had a playlist on and only the songs i had added were supposed to play. I left it on as i went upstairs to try on some clothes i bought that had just arrived in a package that morning, I hated how they looked on me, I looked in the mirror and told myself i was ugly and fat although i really wasn’t at all but that’s how i saw myself, after trying multiple options i left in frustration and disappointment, I walked down the stairs with my head low feeling upset untill i suddenly broke down in tears as I heard the song playing, I had never heard it before but the lyrics said “who says, who say’s you’re not perfect, who say’s you’re not worth it, who say’s you’re the only one that’s hurting, trust me that’s the price of beauty, who says you’re not pretty,who say’s you’re not beautiful?” (who says by Selena Gomez) I don’t even listen to her songs and my playlist should’ve still been playing by then so i couldn’t understand why it suddenly played that song so randomly but I felt like it was a sign someone was trying to send me and not just a sudden error. It’s okay to not like everything about yourself, It’s okay to want to change something and do it but what’s not okay is talking down to yourself just because others made you believe you weren’t enough, I believe we were all created with love and no matter who we are we’ll always be enough. I now almost feel guilty when i dare to look at myself in the mirror and say things such as “ugh i’m so ugly” I feel like there’s someone out there looking over me and thinking to themselves “what an idiot” while containing the urge to slap me in the face for saying such nonsense. There are things I still don’t like about myself but it goes beyond stupid stuff like a few pimples, a sudden change in weight, the dark circles under my eyes, my damaged hair, and my uneven teeth and jaw. The things I love about myself the most are now the things someone once made me feel like they were the worst.