Emotions and self are/flow in different directions for women.For women emotions(I mean all emotions)run outwards which in turn enriches her soul but for men them runs inwards which distorts some parts/some parts of soul of theirs,except for emotion of love,which runs outwards even in men.

Education

I did something reslly bad today. Just because I felt one of my friends hurt me... I did the same too in response.... When the person meant something really different. Wont repeat it again but I'm not exactly feeling good anymore.

Acquaintance

Well, I'm going through really miserable time of my life because my circle is small and I have only one best friend whom I trust blindly and share everything but since 4months before I had argument with because she is not giving me time I feel like I'm begging for our friendship her only answer is I'm busy or I'm using me time watching movie and all but don't bother to text or call or never express to meet I know I always try to her say sorry ok let's patch up but this time I let her go like I'm not trying to hold her she saw my post and all but didn't reply it's been a month always I text her first or call or make plans but from her side nothing no efforts and it's lead me live alone and here I'm no one around me talk right now I'm trying to keep myself busy but unfortunately you need somebody to talk about your days but 

We're all addicted to something that takes the pain away 

Addiction

After trusting few people and being betrayed, you decide that all the happiness lies inside you, you stopped your emotional connection with people, you finally enjoy being alone. Exactly at that time, a person enters and cares for you, gives you attention. Now you realise that you have been craving for that and you are were actually feeling alone all this time. It's just that you subconsciously made yourself to think that being alone is better and you were really wanted love all this time. You were not alone and you were lonely. Now you can't devour the love you get from that person because all the sadness that was suppressed before is pouring on you. The wound has become worse, not that you didn't treat it, you actually didn't know that were wounded and been aching all this time. This is a different kind of sadness that I am facing now. I cannot treat my heart and I cannot accept the love with this wounded heart. 

Loss

Today I had a weird dream. 
It starts like this— I was hungry and searching something to eat in the container and accidently i spilt some Pulses and sugar which was in the polythene. I was collecting them when I father came and what are you doing? I said, "I was searching for something to eat and accidently spilt them". He said something in angry voice to which I replied, "I will go after I am done with collecting them". He again said, "are you going or not and showed the gesture as if he is going to kick me. Then he pick he up by coller and pulled me out of the kitchen and slapped and said, "you were better when you were living in gurgaon( I was living in gurgaon for job and recently took WFH ) and you annoys me. I replied, " Even I am not happy here." "My head feels heavy, all I feel is running away from here." "I was happy when I was in gurgaon,  I came here so that I can save some money and prepare my job switch." You think your son does nothing but he fucking doing everything to do better and always thought of providing ,you both, a better better life". After all this I got a glimpse of mother and my elder brother crying and then i woke up. 
Damn! 😩

Dreams

Why am I this vulnerable and weak? I get attached too easily and this has hurt me in the past and it hurts me even now. I thought I've grown up. But I really haven't. And why are these night always so lonely? I'm afraid of the relationship that hasn't even started yet. She is very confused and she doesn't even think twice when the thought of leaving comes up. She is like okay, you have your way. She tells me though that she was sad. 
She said to me today - you are very cold. That us true. I felt that. And I have not stopped shedding tears since then. I dont want to be this person. I want to be happier, people. 
I just came here to share. Thanks for tolerating.

Lonely

Boys can we talk? ( please age more than 22) 

3am Thoughts

My friends sending me so many reels, its irritating me

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts