Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realize it - Osho

3am Thoughts

We dont even celebrate but I love Christmas. I love this time of the year idk why. I dont have anyone and my life is pretty shit but I have my own ritual, I watch rom coms or Christmas movies around this time. Idk everything feels special , nothing special ever happens but maybe its the vibe.

Nostalgia

I have pcod since 2 years now. I have not been able to fight it, it just keeps getting worse. I haven't got my period since 6months. My skin is absolutely shit, I'm obese. I have too much body hair. I have no confidence, I'm insecure all the time. It's very difficult to live with myself,I hate it. Lately I've been thinking of getting hysterectomy. But I'm just 20. Idc about fertility, I'm just worried if it'll make my health worse. My parents aren't going to allow me to get it, but I really want to, I'm so tired of this. Idk what to do, I'm so alone I can't even talk about it with anyone. My mental health is also worsening, I'm not able to do anything about that either. I feel like giving up. 

PCOD

 Laptop with Graphic card or Not?? 

I'm a college student, who usually do Coding and Development. 
Don't do Gaming at all. 
Not sure about Parallel Programming, AI, ML, maybe, maybe Not... 

Suggest me... 

Confusion

People are not born hero or villains , they are created by people around them...

Depression

Life just hurts too bad, I want to stop

Life

hi,
i m feeling very confused. i met this guy online. we discussed our pasts. then we started a very weird kind of relationship. we both don't want to get married. it was neither friendship, not lover kind of relationship. nothing serious as well. we just talked daily. on our daily lives. thats it. and he said always that old woman you will never get rid of me (i m 5 year older). but from two days he is behaving different. and today he told me that he is in love. and when i said ok, he said to me u should be annoyed. i said why its good u will be happy. he started laughing. he eluded the subject said he has work and left the chat. now from two days when he was not behaving normal , i am feeling unsettled. when we discussed earlier we both said that if someone comes in a relationship, loyalty is most important. and i guess his behavior suggests that only. but why i m feeling restless. is it because i am feeling that i cannot be loved? in past too, i was never loved. so is this restlessness about , someone can find love but why not me? why nobody loves me? m i not good enough? my family, friends, colleagues and people adore me. but why cant someone love me a man loves a woman? why? he is someone i like its true. but i dont love him. that is for sure. but why no one loves me?  

Love

My mom passed away in October last year. I have been inconsolable since then. My father and I do not share a very close relationship as we've stayed distant due to his work. But I love my dad. 
I live in New Delhi alone as none of our relatives would come to stay with me as they've got families of their own. 
I still haven't recovered from the loss of my mom. She was the closest to me. I miss her and I cry every day and I don't think I'll ever be able to get past the fact that she is not here with me physically. 
Recently, my dad's mom and his eldest brother have started looking for a suitable woman to get my dad remarried to. It is hurting me to the core that it's not even a year and they have started looking for a suitable match. What pains me the most is that my dad agreed. 
I am 27 years old. I do not need a second mommy to come live with me and take care of my needs. I am messy right now, yes. But I am sure I'll get better. I have to accept my mom's fate. And I will, someday. 
I cannot have some other random woman come and take my mother's place. That's my mom, for god's sake. I am a grown-up woman who doesn't need a step-mommy. 
I am upset to the core now. Nowhere to go. I don't want my dad to stay alone. But if he wants to marry someone for my sake, I am against it. If he wants to start a new family, be my guest. But I cannot be a part of it. 
Thank you, everyone. For hearing me out. Had to vent.  

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts