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Anonymous

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if only i had the guts to tell you this Ma…

growing up you would never believe in me you would put me down you would not let me join school events i clearly remember how you did not allow me to join the scouting program because your favorite son tell you that i would end up being stupid at scouting so i end up not enjoying my childhood you would only give me material things that i did not needed to fill every shortcomings that you have. you never had the time to ask me if i was okay if i was doing fine at school if you asked me i would answer you that i am not doing great because you did not get my report card for many academic years and it always pressure me because i did not know how my grades are going i would only know my grades when you enroll me to the next academic year that i had many failing grades if only you only know my struggles if you only know. because every time i tried to open up to you would only tell me that i am over reacting and every wrong attitude that i had you would blame my friends you would blame the people that you don’t even know to tell you honestly they are the ones who tell to keep on respecting and loving you because you are my mom but you never treated me like my older siblings when i was growing up everything was perfect you were a good mom to me then as got i older you would distant yourself from me. even though we live on one roof you never let me feel that you love me now since you went abroad your FAVORITE SON has been being a pain in the neck he has been impulsive he has an attitude and can’t still believe that you are still siding with him you are still siding with the son that did not want you to come back home you are still siding with the son who cursed at you i am not asking you to side with me but i am asking you to be fair i know that it was hard for you to let us grow without papa by your side because he was working for our future ma if you only know why wanted papa to work near us because you have spoiled your son so much if only he had grown up with papa guiding him he would not be like that he would not take everything for granted he would not be like this he would not be physically abusing me he would not hit me in the head he would not be a couch potato now it looks to you that i am the black sheep of this family when i am not i am the one who strives for my own welfare call me selfish that when i grow up would not live in the same country as you because i am staying away from all the head aches you could give me because one day i will choose my own path i would choose myself i would choose someone who would choose me who would listen and when i have a family of my own i would be a fair mom i would listen to my future children i would understand them because i want them not to despise me for being a one sided mom . and i hope someday you would have the heart to listen to me

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1 reply
Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199

Simran @st1199

Hi!
I could feel the pain not because I have gone through the same things but because I can feel how it feels being discriminated against and favoritism.
Each parent has more liking towards one child than the other but not to an extent that it starts hurting seriously and affects mental health. I am sorry that no one is there to listen to you and while you wish to sort things but helpless of the fact that she will not change. Ik the feeling when your sibling is allowed doing everything and you can’t or he is preferred and has not seen everything which you did and it makes him learn values to not respect your sister/brother but go by what my mother/father said. And, obviously, if parents aren’t saying anything why the hell will they listen to their sibling.

I am happy to see that you know what would you do when you have your own kids and you can distinguish between wrong and right. It is important to think and analyze what our parents do/did and what we as parents wish to bring the change in our children. I wish we help them talk to us freely and share their emotions which we couldn’t with our parents. 💛

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