Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Don’t read bc it’s just me venting and trying ro get rid of bad feelings

I am not okay I am stupid I’m empty I have no brain I can’t do 1 single thing right I am a waste of money and even air I wish I wasn’t born I don’t want to do anything I just want to dissappear I hope someone kills me tomorrow I am such a fucking disappointment I don’t wanna live I hope my parents dissappear and my sister too I hate everyone I hate myself most god I wish I could just pass away or get in coma I wanna try self harming but I can’t because of my religion which is the one single reason why I wake up in the mornings and why I am still alive but at the same time if I wasn’t religious I could just kill my parents and then myself I’m too coward to do anything but to write these bullshit things I’m tired of crying I am also on my period which is a fucking cherry on top I just wanna cut their tongues off I don’t wanna hear shit I fucking hope I get a heart attack I just cried a damn river yesterday and thought today they would listen but no of course they don’t and act like I am a burden and tell me to go kill myself bc I can’t do anything then I tell a small paet of my mental problems to my mom and she blows up to me bc how dare I say she caused me mental issues and today is my fucking dads birthday god I wish wasn’t born fuck today fuck life that disgusting piece of shit at least he agreed to send me to get help but idk if it’ll work god I wanna drown in medicines and fuck off to somewhere or leave my body like ik this life is a test for us to go either to hell or heaven but it’s just so fucking difficult I wanna leave the test early I wanna sleep and never wake up on the top my boyfriend is ignoring me and a random person on insta asked for pics and I literally answered “Sorry I’m in the middle of a fight with my family my mental health won’t be okay for a long while so bye hope u find someone better to talk with :)” fucking shit I literally am so fed up and ready to explode in fact I am at the moment hope no one reads my bs and feels worse I’ll feel even sadder bc I am such a useless shit I can even hurt a stranger because of my selfishness to shout out and let my anger out I don’t wanna force myself to cry quietly I wanna shout I wanna sob I want hugs oh fuck no one is here for me no one will be bc I am a waste of time that’s the reson why I am wrapped in my blanket crying so fucking quietly bc I am scared my dad’s gonna hear it and start shouting me again I wanna just go away out of my body or be insane so I can be happy a little maybe? How do I do that anyone got tips? Or do u know how to make urself pass out idc if it’s for a while I just need to shut down but I also need to wake up at 8 in morning and will probably cry all the morning fuck then my dad’s gonna get angry again and will say ur bringing me shame what did I do to deserve you I did everything yet ur such a useless shit people are dying I had to go thru BLAH BLAH BLAH PLEASE SHUT UP I CAN’T I JUST WANNA BE OKAY I WANNA BE HAPPY OR AT LEAST NOT CRYING SAD ALL THE TIME PLS JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP I bet he’ll tell me to kill myself again I just wanna gşve up and not do shit just lie down and wait till I die :)

Thanks for coming to my ted talk! (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)✧･ﾟ♡

And yes I am sharing this even tho I said don’t read but hey I’m hungry for attention and feel like shit sorry really