Don’t know how to say this but I have lost my dog from cancer almost a year ago along with my cat a few months ago. Because of that I spiraled into a constant sadness as the cat I lost used to be the living being from my grandmother who passed from cancer. Its getting harder to stay happy and at this point I constantly have to fake happiness and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve recently… self harmed and have scars from it. I’m getting a half butterfly / half flower tattoo over the scars but I’m genuinely not happy. I don’t know who to go to and I cannot afford the actual therapy help so I came here. I really hope people on here can help me, I just don’t know what to do. I’m slowly spiraling into a worse sadness and cannot stop it. I was also bullied a few years back so I constantly think negative and have no self esteem, I also have old scars from the bullying and if I’m even alone I constantly have negative thoughts and sometimes I can’t even stop it. Normally I hide my emotions in and say nothing but it just hurts to hold everything in. I need help, I just cannot afford it…
Hey,
Not sure which part of the world you’re from so here is a worldwide list https://www.lauvsongs.com/help of helplines, professionals etc.
You can try asking the professionals if they offer a sliding scale because some of them do.
Your situation and grief are understandable given all that you have had to go through. I cannot imagine or even fathom the loss and I dread and cry for hours sometimes even when I think about losing the ones I love. It is so hard, and I wish they taught us how to cope with loss or how to better understand or make peace with it. You can also try grief groups if you have them in your area.
I’m definitely here if you would like to talk. But I am not someone who has actually lost their dog or grandmother, they’re right here with me in the next room, and I cry every other night when it hits me that it might not always be this way. I have started to tear up as I write this. I’m so sorry. This isn’t about me. I just hope you find strength in something, some coping mechanisms, something that feels anchoring to you, like meditation or prayer or chanting. I believe that’s what you might need to sort of view life as a whole, the circle of life, to be able to understand and perhaps even appreciate that at some point. Maybe I’m just blabbering, but I think what I’m trying to say is, anything that perhaps helps you justify or process what has happened, might help. I’m so sorry for your loss man, I just cannot keep my own tears aside at this point, but I want you to know, that if it happened to me or anyone else, we would be just as devastated. So you’re doing good. You’re seeking help. You’re really doing this right. I’m here, just respond to this thread and I’ll try to talk whenever I can. Sorry I didn’t see this sooner…
