Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Does praying to God really help? I feel like the gods and goddesses out there have forsaken me. I used to pray a lot. I come from a religious family. We have strict rules. We pray a lot. I used to chant mantras every day, whether it was the Gayatri mantra, the planets mantras, the Ganesha and Maa Durga mantras. I used to chant the Gayatri and Nav Graha Shanti mantra 108 times every day. I also used to listen and recite the Hanuman Chalisa. I also used to pray and worship every god, deity and planet. But I stopped since January this month. I felt like the gods and goddesses out there could have rescued me, but instead they pushed me to the brink that I will never escape from. I don’t know if I am jinxed or doomed to suffer, but I was loyal to my religion and gods. The one thing that pains me most is that they weren’t there when I needed them most. Now every time I face God, I just pray to end my life sooner than later. They clearly gave me signs of that I don’t deserve to exist and I feel like I don’t deserve to suffer either. I didn’t do anything that was against God’s rules and my faith, but still the gods out there made me suffer and pushed me to the edge of hell. I feel like a wounded deer in the wild jungle, out of fate and luck. I am still breathing, but I have no strength left to survive. I hope the gods and goddesses out there will put me out of my misery and end this suffering.