Does anyone get anxious and suicidal thoughts but not able to figure out the reason?

I'm also confused that whats the reason is it that a guy to whom I'm in relation for 5 years or the family expectations aur some trumas 
I can't figure out


3am Thoughts

A one 🫂 hug can make your day 

My partner curses me alot like he never hit me or something but curses me says I'm the worst girl ever that I am zero but then says sorry and it's not the first time he does that alot first i used to feel sad and cry now I don't feel anything i just stay quiet and listen which is more painful idk what to do

Confusion

I wish someone says to me glad you exist😂🤣

I am feeling very sad. full-time college student with no money in my bank account yet there are people making tons of cash my age. I know its not good to compare myself but goddamn I need money. I have been falling behind with school work and I don't know where to start to catch up. I have been telling myself I want to start going to the gym but that's been going on for over a month. I feel overweight and ugly it sucks bro. our heads can play with our hearts in an incredibly scary way. I developed an eating disorder, I can go weeks without eating and then stuff my face one night at 3 in the morning. its sad how we tell ourselves we need to look a certain way. in other people's eyes even strangers, we are the most beautiful humans but in our own eyes we are the complete opposite. my boyfriend is probably cheating on me because he says I am bitchy and insecure.. why would I be nice to him if all its resulted in is me getting hurt because he wants other girls? how will I know its different this time? I just feel so insecure it makes me cry but like I am not even that ugly sometimes but then I look at a picture that was taken off guard and I look like a fat pig. I don't know bro I know this rant is all over the place but I needed to get it out of my system. 

I wish things were different about the acceptance of LGBTQ folks in india. I have been with people who were too scared to be themselves. Too scared of what will their parents think when they get to know about their sexuality. I understand the fear and i myself am not untouched by this. 
I wish this world becomes a better place and people understand and accept the differences rather than running from them

So be strong my LGBTQ community. Even if noone does. I believe in you and you are not alone here. Stay strong

LGBTQ

♀️

Acquaintance

I am living in such a toxic environment. Sometimes I feel like my mom is not my own and my dad doesn’t have guts to stand against her otherwise there will be lots of drama.
On being confronted they tell me how could i even think like this, you have developed lots of bad thoughts, tumhara nature bahut kharab ho gya hai, tumhara bahar jaake jyada dimag chalne laga hai and all.
It’s highly frustrating 🥺

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts