Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Does ANYBODY feel the way I feel…trapped, choked up, miserable and lonely? Like, is that all there is to life? I wake up, I work, I sleep. I have no friends, no interests, no hobbies. Nothing brings me joy. I am hateful, I am confused and I am tired.I mean, when I imagined what taking a gap year after my graduation would be like: this was NOT it. This is not what I wanted. This is still not what I want. I want better. I want different/ I think work is only always going to make me sad. I am an artist. II used to paint. I used to CREATE things. I used to CARE about things. But now? Nothing. What do i care about? Nothing. What do I want? Nothing. Does anybody FEEL the way I feel? I feel TOO much. I feel it in my bones and in my soul. Sometimes when my brother is rude to me underneath it all I can literally feel my heart BREAKING into pieces. I feel the weight on my shouders. After doing so much for everyone, all I ask for is a bit of reciprocation. Yesterday my father said: Don’t behave like a victim. Ok but what if I am?? I know I am. Doesn’t mean I am not FUC*ING powerful. I am a victim of these people’s misdoings and misery. I deserve safety. Does anybody feel the way I feel. please tell me I am not alone. That would be the last straw for me. The last straw.