Do you ever have that feeling where you’re surrounded by people but you still feel alone? Yeah, that’s basically how I feel. There’s technically nothing wrong in my life, I’m the problem. I have a caring family and great friends but I just can’t help but feel so lonely. It’s not always every second of the day that I feel lonely of course but, it’s just this feeling deep in my mind that just says that I’m not happy. I have 5 close friends who I always talk to but I just feel like I don’t fit in. One of them is my best friend whom I’ve had for almost 4 years, he’s a kind person but I don’t want to burden him with my emotions since he already has his hands full with his problems.
Then there’s this friend that I’ve known for almost a year, she’s a really good friend and I sometimes tell her what I feel but, I don’t know if she’d rather be talking to me or her other friend. She sometimes tells me that I make her friend happy and she feels like she doesn’t make them happy. I kinda feel like I’m intruding on their friendship, like I’m not supposed to be there.
My 3rd close friend is the best friend of the 2nd person I mentioned. I talk to her practically every day but as I said, I don’t know if she’d rather be talking to someone else.
I don’t know a lot about the other 2 people but I still consider them close friends.
So to sum it up, I just don’t know who to tell my feelings to. I don’t want to tell my parents since it’ll worry them and the first time I told them, they didn’t understand and just kept talking about school and grades. I don’t have any other close family members except my cousin but we don’t talk about our emotions.
It’s just really hard since I feel like I need to make my friends happy, I want to make them happy yet I don’t know how. I just don’t want my friends to feel what I’m feeling.
For anyone who read this, thank you for listening I guess.