Do anyone else believe in baddua today my father got angry at me and said something like that I am very sad. Whatever I have done is to make him proud I have done so many sacrifices but I get to hear this at the end. 

Family

You know how when you have been threw trauma for 11 years with sexuality problems and sexual abuse and being in foster care and getting abused in the system and they do nothing about it NOTHING I told them 10 times but nobody listens to me no one but when I lash out it's my problem I’m quite it's my problem it's my fault I’m sad trying to end my life hoping all of this would stop ITS MY PROBLEM MY FAULT. And they wonder why I have trust issues and can’t even sleep trying my best not to break down but nowadays I just cry and can’t even keep it in anymore.


Depression

"And in the end, we were all just humans... drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness."

F. Scott Fitzgerald.

3am Thoughts

Teenage life is so depressing 🙃

I've always wondered why I want to travel so bad and never come back, now that I'm asking myself why; I've finally found the answer. I want to live where people don't know me, I want to go as far as possible from my past, my trauma and my family, I want to start a new life where I'm the one who narrate it and not other people, I want to be me, to create a new me, a happy me, the one that can show and share the kindness that I have inside of me, the one that someone can actually love. You see the thing is that when you talk to strangers that doesn't know your life nor where you really come from it's actually the beginning of the life that you wanted, the one where you can narrate your own story with your own words since they don't know you. I don't want to end the chapter, I want to close the book.

Dreams

Any murakami fans here?

Books

Aisaa koi aur app pata h iske hi jesa ?
Ye to ajeeb h

I know I am immature but it hurts when he say that he would be there till he can why can't be it always..I know we can't be together but it still hurts when he  says that and tell me to not love him.. could I even love someone like that..I know we both can't be but atleast the time we have can we try atleast... It hurts me to say him to be happy with someone else.. I know I am immature but feelings are feelings.. I know we don't have any future but I imagine my future with him ... why do society has so much rules.. would we even have a next life..He say he loves me but we can't be together... I know people are suffering more than me .. it's nothing but believe me it hurts..

Breakup

My worst memories are coming back haunting me saying that I am inadequate unworthy and a most ashamed person in world and it makes me feel what ever I do or however I get better it still says I am the same or I can't get better I am feeling hopeless and exhausted 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts