Dealing with family problems, trauma unstable mental health, insecurities, anxiety, self blame at such a young age isn't easy at all :)

3am Thoughts

How can a person be always happy in life? 🥺🚶🏻‍♀️

I’d all zeros and ones people

Life

Im tired of feeling rejected ,
By my friends , my crushes , my relationships , my people and everyone around me , they just seek out others when still I’m around , im so broke that i became a temporary person to everybody , i dont wanna be a temporary person !!! But i have become one , i need new friends but im just tired of people😌 . People dont care me anymore , even the ones who thought i write good and i talk good doesn’t talk to me anymore😕 

Lonely

I can’t go on anymore. I’m so emotionally exhausted.
This year started off okay, but soon progressed to one of the most difficult and painful time I’ve experienced so far.
I lay on the bed wishing to never wake up because of the things that were happening at home. 
My mom is emotionally abusive and a narcissist. My sister was going through a tough time in her marriage and I witnessed my brother in law threaten her because another man (he is like a father figure) touched her arm. I had a panic attack when all of this happened and since then I had been feeling so low.
On the other hand, my mother has been making things so hard for me. She puts me down, invalidates my pain and speaks in a way that is so demeaning. 
Then, I fell ill on the 27th of March and since then I’ve been unwell. The doctors can’t figure out anything and I’m just resting, waiting for the pain to go away. It’s so overwhelming and hard sometimes to be in this whole zone of uncertainty.
Everyone cared in the beginning, but now I’m mocked by my mother, told to do chores, when even doing the most basic things causes excruciating pain. She hurts me so much even when I’m ill. My heart hurts.
It’s already hard to be battling an illness with no name to it, and when I have to listen to such insensitive words coming from a person who is supposed to be the most caring, it breaks my heart into a million pieces.
I don’t want to be left at the mercy of others. I want to get better. I want to feel okay. 
Both my emotional and physical pain is causing me distress. 


Mental Illness

No one seems to take my mental health seriously

Depression

I don't have any friend. Is that wrong in anyway??

Insecurity

Not a single day goes by ,literally, when I dont contemplate suici*e. Its been like this for many years. Will my life ever get better? 


Frustration

 that pain...feeling it is just worse... We are born twins but not attached to each other now ... He never cared about me like before just because I said no to things.. He maybe hurt but if I did what he told maybe our world would be shattered down but I still feel hurt but I am not regretting of fighting him that day.. We brothers...are such a great bond which we end up punishing each other... Maybe some other day he will look at me the same way he did past few years ago.. I can feel you because you are only my last family and only one for me. If I lost you I will be alone in this world which separated us.. Think of it does it still hurt when you look a.t me for taking that decision? I know I have hurt you by choosing it but can you understand the life of me without seeing your face? We are brothers...not strangers...maybe I will always fall for you even when I am a stranger to you... I know you are one this app .... know you are always looking into this app...will you respond because it hurts your brother.. Remember the moment I told you all will be fine?
Hey,I tried every way of contacting you but all of them failed.I saw you using this app so this is my last hope
You know from childhood i have anger issues,we have always been together. That day I am not angry,i took the decision calmly..
I am saying I will never allow anyone but you into my family
I have waited days outside our home but you never responded me,just come out ...
I know you are suffering too..just please ,man..
I can't anymore ..
Reply me 
Do you know I have joined the company you work too but you always ignore me.We are now independent  and successful,can't we live happily? 
I promise you I will never fight with you like before.
From my known age till now we have looked out for each other,no body is with us except you and me.
Will you?
You know I am talking about you Ravan veer aayush? 
I am sorry to disturb you but I have no other way
I want you.This distance without seeing you is killing,man...just come back,Mr.Ravan Veer Aayush 



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