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Anonymous

Dealing with a friend who is insensitive to emotions.

This is a friend from many years. He has a slightly annoying demeanor and gets into a habit of always proving that he is right. We have a lot of disagreements but always make up later. But I still get annoyed with the fact that there are these differences of opinion. Sometimes he says that Iโ€™ve changed - I feel he does this only because I speak up when he tries to make jokes at the expense of hurting me. Recently, he did something which was extremely insensitive and I called it out. This happened over WhatsApp and since then, heโ€™s gone cold and is ignoring me since then. Iโ€™m feeling upset that Iโ€™m losing another friend but also everytime, it feels like Iโ€™m the one trying to make peace and he ends up blaming me or says that heโ€™s hurt. I really donโ€™t want to hurt anyone but donโ€™t want to end up getting hurt myself either. I feel lost on how to handle this. Just wanted to get it out of my system by writing my side of things here

Profile picture for Now&Me member @pastel_euphoria
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Profile picture for Now&Me member @ishie
7 replies
@kai_06
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He is introvert and doesnโ€™t opens up easily so i guess you have to be very calm, observe and figure out what he is upto.

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Anonymous
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Actually, he is not an introvert. Heโ€™s outspoken and upfront. Sometimes, heโ€™s so straightforward that he would make bad jokes on you in front of others. Bad jokes that have sarcasm directed towards you. I wonder if itโ€™s me sometimes, but I get offended by sarcasm

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Anonymous
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Well you should firstly talk with him why he does that and still itโ€™s like that then just break-up coz things are done in limit itโ€™s fine if it crosses then its just better to leave it.

@parul_antil
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You have full right to be treated right donโ€™t let anyone treat you less even in their anger or weak moments if someone truly values you he will never devalue you no matter what the situation is.

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Anonymous
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Iโ€™ve had a few broken friendships and it scares me that Iโ€™m going to lose another friend too. So, there are two choices. To keep the friendship, Iโ€™ll have to tolerate every insult he throws and stop calling him out so that he doesnโ€™t feel bad. Or, we have to speak it out everytime. Iโ€™d prefer the latter as it seems like a mature way to handle it but from past experiences, it seemed like he somehow tries to paint me in a negative picture if i try to say why I didnโ€™t like some comment he made. i believe that even in friendship, there are some boundaries that should not be crossed and i donโ€™t know how to get him to respect that ๐Ÿ˜”

Profile picture for Now&Me member @ishie

Ishita @ishie

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Hey if youโ€™re tolerating, itโ€™s not friendship. You shouldnโ€™t sacrifice your mental peace just because of the fear of losing anyone. I know itโ€™s difficult to let go of people who are close to you. But if that person devalues you or hurts your self-esteem in any way, Itโ€™s better to let go of that toxic relationship :)
And itโ€™s not like leaving one or a few toxic people is the end of the world ุช๏ธŽ
So just stay hopeful!! Donโ€™t give up or in for these toxicities in your life

Profile picture for Now&Me member @pastel_euphoria

Arni <3 @pastel_euphoria

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A good friendship is one where you can find respect and honesty, going hand to hand together. It seems like youโ€™re the one making all the effort to communicate whatโ€™s going wrong, but in the end you have to deal with the insults and negativity, and man you deserve better. I know itโ€™s scary to lose a friend, but I am sorry to say that some people arenโ€™t worth it. There are people out there who are willing to understand your feelings and not cross the boundaries you make, so itโ€™s good that you call him out. But if it never leads to any improvement or if he doesnโ€™t care enough to see that what he does is hurtful and mean, I donโ€™t think you should spend much time with this person. Thatโ€™s just my opinion tho, I really hope the situation turns out in your favour and goes well. Youโ€™ll be okay ๐Ÿ’—

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