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Anonymous

Dealing with a friend who is insensitive to emotions.

This is a friend from many years. He has a slightly annoying demeanor and gets into a habit of always proving that he is right. We have a lot of disagreements but always make up later. But I still get annoyed with the fact that there are these differences of opinion. Sometimes he says that I’ve changed - I feel he does this only because I speak up when he tries to make jokes at the expense of hurting me. Recently, he did something which was extremely insensitive and I called it out. This happened over WhatsApp and since then, he’s gone cold and is ignoring me since then. I’m feeling upset that I’m losing another friend but also everytime, it feels like I’m the one trying to make peace and he ends up blaming me or says that he’s hurt. I really don’t want to hurt anyone but don’t want to end up getting hurt myself either. I feel lost on how to handle this. Just wanted to get it out of my system by writing my side of things here

Profile picture for Now&Me member @pastel_euphoria
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Profile picture for Now&Me member @ishie
7 replies
@kai_06

He is introvert and doesn’t opens up easily so i guess you have to be very calm, observe and figure out what he is upto.

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Anonymous

Actually, he is not an introvert. He’s outspoken and upfront. Sometimes, he’s so straightforward that he would make bad jokes on you in front of others. Bad jokes that have sarcasm directed towards you. I wonder if it’s me sometimes, but I get offended by sarcasm

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Anonymous

Well you should firstly talk with him why he does that and still it’s like that then just break-up coz things are done in limit it’s fine if it crosses then its just better to leave it.

@parul_antil

You have full right to be treated right don’t let anyone treat you less even in their anger or weak moments if someone truly values you he will never devalue you no matter what the situation is.

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Anonymous

I’ve had a few broken friendships and it scares me that I’m going to lose another friend too. So, there are two choices. To keep the friendship, I’ll have to tolerate every insult he throws and stop calling him out so that he doesn’t feel bad. Or, we have to speak it out everytime. I’d prefer the latter as it seems like a mature way to handle it but from past experiences, it seemed like he somehow tries to paint me in a negative picture if i try to say why I didn’t like some comment he made. i believe that even in friendship, there are some boundaries that should not be crossed and i don’t know how to get him to respect that 😔

Profile picture for Now&Me member @ishie

Ishita @ishie

Hey if you’re tolerating, it’s not friendship. You shouldn’t sacrifice your mental peace just because of the fear of losing anyone. I know it’s difficult to let go of people who are close to you. But if that person devalues you or hurts your self-esteem in any way, It’s better to let go of that toxic relationship :)
And it’s not like leaving one or a few toxic people is the end of the world ت︎
So just stay hopeful!! Don’t give up or in for these toxicities in your life

Profile picture for Now&Me member @pastel_euphoria

Arni <3 @pastel_euphoria

A good friendship is one where you can find respect and honesty, going hand to hand together. It seems like you’re the one making all the effort to communicate what’s going wrong, but in the end you have to deal with the insults and negativity, and man you deserve better. I know it’s scary to lose a friend, but I am sorry to say that some people aren’t worth it. There are people out there who are willing to understand your feelings and not cross the boundaries you make, so it’s good that you call him out. But if it never leads to any improvement or if he doesn’t care enough to see that what he does is hurtful and mean, I don’t think you should spend much time with this person. That’s just my opinion tho, I really hope the situation turns out in your favour and goes well. You’ll be okay 💗

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