Days are ending and nights happen. Nights end and days happen.
This is my life for now. Time is ticking. I’m not my usual self. I’ve lost interest in everything. I function almost normally to the outside world but my mind has completely stopped thinking. Like there’s a deadline I need to complete a task but I don’t feel like doing it. I have a couple of exams coming up and I am not even opening my books. What’s wrong with me? I’m not guilty either. I feel like I’m pressurised to live, to achieve stuff. All I want is some good companionship and a decent salary (which I earn now). But the people around me (my friends and family) want me to achieve something great, something that befits my potential. I’m not interested in doing any kind of hard work - like studying for long hours and cracking exams. I want to stay away from my family for some time to realize what I need/want in life. But my parents won’t let me go anywhere outside of the city that I live in. Perhaps, I am a coward to not take risks in life. Last week I was happy, doing my work well and having fun. Suddenly without any reason, I feel life is a burden. I don’t even want to speak to my close friends. I’m just scrolling and watching YT videos (of which I don’t watch 90% of the videos completely). Or check insta stories. Nothing interests me right now. And I can’t go on living like this. I have to get out of this rut. Someone put some sense into my mind. I’m feeling helpless about my present and my future.