Dar lag rha hai. Han mujhe har chhoti baat se dar lagte rehta hai. Han mai overthink bhi karti hu. Roz rat me zabardasti sone ki aur har subah khushi dhundhne ki koshish karti hu. Rat me stress ki wajah se roz bure sapne dikhte hai jinse dar k uth jati hu. Bhagwan ka naam leke fir sone ki koshish karti hu. Man me itni sari insecurities hone k bad bhi kisi ko man ki takleef show nhi hone deti. Roz khud ko accha feel karwane ki udhedbun me lagi rehti hu. Han mai weak hu lekin mai ye logo k samne show nhi karti. Aur yha express kr rhi hu kyuki yha koi mujhe janta nhi. Ek din shayd mai in chizo se aage badh jaungi aur genuinely khush rahungi. 

Simple 

Insaan ke kare kuch nhi hota...jo likha hai vo hoga...trust God process...and don't worry 

It is good that you know that ...and you are admitting it, it means you are already on the path of achieving something good for you. Believe me, you are doing great, lots of wishes to you. May God give you a happy life. 

3am Thoughts

I feel so lonely :((, we were at school a while ago practicing for this dance fest and I felt so out place because everyone was talking with one another while I'm there sitting and looking at them having fun. I feel like it's because I don't look pretty and I'm not thin either, I am pretty fat. I was trying to make small talk with some of them but some of them just kept looking at me while I talk to them and the others would talk back but it's like they're scared of me or something. I think it's bc many told me I look intimidating but trust me if you'll get to know me, I'm literally the sweetest person you'll ever meet. I try to look sweet and get used to opening my eyes a bit more just so I can look approachable bc I have this rbf. Anyways, that's it for my rant :DD, thank you for reading this :)) 

I will keep my self respect rather than the relationship. If I loose my self respect then I would never be able to be happy in any relationship. 

Relationships

I got engaged but had relationship with someone else for one year . Never felt that connection with someone like that when I was in relationship…
Yesterday I saw her moving on with someone else …I should not feel bad but I don’t know why I felt bad and haven’t slept properly whole night.

Best friend issues
So nowadays I feel really sad. My bestie ignored and lied to me before but I didnt make a big deal out of it but these days its getting outta hand. 
Today I asked her to play game with me online and she said she was busy she'll play later. Again I asked and she said I'll play after eating then she ignored me for sone time and then she said she cant play now. I was sad because I was waiting from 3 hours to play with her.
Sometimes I think I should not be her friend because she's a complete opposite of me ....I just feel like an outcast sometimes.
While joking also if she jokes and I say something she's like "You just need a reason to fight" and when I joke she says things like "Thats why no one wants to talk to you"" You have a bad habit of saying bad things to others" and these kind of sentences really hurt me.
Right now our relationship is very complicated. Some times I feel like never talking to her .....these days she really takes me for granted.
What should I do? If I talk to her she'll just say that I need a reason to fight and ignore me so what should I do ? I'm very confused.


Anxiety

You were so sweet and innocent and perfect but I knew that if I was ever in your life I would ruin it 
You didn't need someone who was groomed and rworded when they were 14 and got yelled at everyday and didn't have a nice family to be your step family 
You deserve someone who was stable, who could bring you into her loving family during the holidays 
Who wouldn't ruin your pure mind with their unstable bullshit and has as much drive and intelligence as you
It isn't me, I'm convoluted and tangly, a complete mess 
And so although I think about you everyday and what might have been, and how I will forever regret not being there to hear all about your lovely life, your intricate thoughts and desires, which I would love to know
I am so glad that you were never truely touched by my darkness and I hope that you meet someone as incredible as you

Lonely

I feel in love with a boy i was talking to for months. 
We fought and he is not talking to me. Its been a month but still cant stop thinking about it. 
i think i like hi more than he does. We met on bumble and he was my office crush , our talks were meme based and now there is a void . How do i get over him?


Love

I undersell myself sometimes just to make the other person feel more confident about themselves.

How can you tell if a person doesn’t want anything to do you anymore or is losing touch with you? This person I met 3 years ago, is my best friend and I love them more than just a best friend, but I’m beginning to think they want nothing to do with me anymore. They often times give responds that only consist of 3-4 words. Should I ask for reassurance just to clear my head of these thoughts. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts