Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Confused.

I was reading the article on 10 Types of Toxic People You Should Avoid in your Life by @ishitaaggarwal. Great article btw.

And to be honest, I think I categorize myself as “The Spinner of Yarns”.

I have lied to many a people. Even to my best friends. But never as a way to hurt them. And I’m just not saying this.
It started out as innocent exaggerations and embellishments. I loved entertaining them with stories. This went on to the point where I even thought I could go into stand-up comedy. I enjoyed the story telling. I took pleasure in them being so engrossed. There were fun dinners and parties.
Slowly it turned personal. Nothing against them, but little by little I was getting bitter. The jokes were getting meaner. There was more fiction than facts. I was on my way to be a gossip monger. I started making up stuff about other people based on nothing but imagination.
If a person looked at me wrong, I had a story ready to put them down. The person didn’t even know me personally. But my only consolation was, it was just for entertaining my besties.

Eventually I started lying to them about myself. I made up stuff and fed them. Somewhere I was maybe looking for validation, from them. I have never been the cool kid. Yes sure I was the Calm Kid, but never the popular cool kid. Also I was the youngest in my class and never taken seriously.

Recently, events happened in life, and I decided to come clean. Because I knew if this went on for long, I would lose them.

After I did come clean, as expected, things went total sideways. Things were said, and I listened. I told them, I knew what I did and regret it, but also that I needed help.

Thanks for listening.