Chahe kaho ise meri mohabbat, 
chahe hasi me uda do...
ye kya hua mujhe,
mujhko khabar nahi,
ho ske tumhi bta do... ❤️❤️

Achi ji mai haari chalo maan jaao na, kaisi apni yaari mera dil dukhao na :(

pr tum jla nhi rhe na... tum to dukha rhe ...  : (

Dukhaya tumne :(, pr choro jaane do maaf kia 

mai bhai nhi hu .. (●'◡'●), aur dharti se hi hu

Love

Today is another normal day I guess feel the same my depression is the same I'm looking forward to tomorrow I have my doctor's appointment our city is opening up finally since April so I can finally go on a patio for lunch with one of my friends can't wait.

COVID-19

The fact is pets are better then humans,
Give them 1-2 treat they gonna be loyal and be with you for the rest of their life.

3am Thoughts

Hey, I really don’t know how to open up but lately I’ve been very distant from everyone my school friends and everyone and the worst part is I’m numb about it I don’t feel sad about it I don’t feel happy about it for obvious reasons but it’s just a big blank idk if it’s just a phase or what but i want to feel things again 

Lonely

I don't know if someone will even read my thoughts or reply to me so I'm gonna post everyday hoping to get some help and talk about how was my day and if I'll get out of this unnecessary problem one day or not but I wanna try, trying is better that failing, I love my words even if I'm not really confident with what I say but I like to let my thoughts and the words that I say to take the control over everything, words are so beautiful to me and it's only now that I'm realizing that. Yes I'm conscious that I'm saying nonsenses but I just want to do it since I can here and not anywhere else. If anyone need help I'm here but I don't promise that I'll be 100% here 'cause I also need help sometimes but I like to help even if I'm on my lowest but if I don't really feel this good I wont be here and I wanna say sorry in advance for not taking my responsibilities when it becomes hard.

Exhausted

I’m a teen mom, I’m 19 with a 8month old, his dad isn’t living with us, he cheated on me when I was pregnant and I found out after we had our kid and eventually he ended up living with her and stuff but he would lie to both of us and go back and forth between us, until recently they officially broke it off ... me and him have been on and off since I was 15 ... we are trying to make it work now, I know its stupid for me to even say this but I have never loved any one the way I loved him . And it’s so hard for me to tell him no. I can start of by telling him no at first but eventually I cave in to his sweet words and shit. But we still don’t live together ... I can’t seem to get over the cheating . I feel sad every night, and I cry a little more than I should but only after my kid goes to sleep, I don’t have any one to talk to because well, I am a proud person and I want to be a good mother for my child so I don’t want to break down without people looking at me crazy so I do it after a long night when everyone is asleep and I can’t sleep until 4  am . 
I want to seek for help tho bc things get dark inside my head for me . And I had post part un depression after I had my kid but I never seemed for help I got over it bc I needed to be strong for my kid after I left his dad . But I can’t help but feel so sad and empty .

Depression

How to get out of debt

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL MEN'S DAY.🌻 
Men, chocolates, sunflowers & self love - Someday someone asked me "does boys' heart also breaks? Like us, Do they really feel those emotions, I don't think so, you say,?"

I hadn't the answer.... Or maybe I had the answer but not the right words. Being a girl what i think is ..

It is said that men's heart doesn't break easily, it's tough and strong. But when it does, it also doesn't show up on his face or in his behavior, but it definitely makes them hollow from the inside. They don't know exactly what to do with their broken heart, and most men, especially men who are still boys, who are still figuring out the real faces of people and the real meaning of life, give that broken part of themselves to the worse things, cheap addictions, temporary pleasure, or worse humans, and that break it even more and make it a darker place for anybody to dwell again ever. They try to escape prison by putting themselves in a darker one.

Men, very much like to hide their real selves, from their family, from their partner, from friends, and sometimes from themselves too. Maybe because the real self is vulnerable? I don't know what to call it, a male ego. Or that sense of showing fake strength that society wants to see in them. A man's heart doesn't break easily, probably true I don't know, or maybe it's difficult to see if it's broken when it comes to men because you can't see it on their faces. You can't see that in bright sunlight when they are giggling at adult memes and discussing upcoming Cricket & football matches or recent web shows. Scream of their inner demons you can't hear in day's crowd hustle when they easily deceive you with their smile and fake laugh. It needs some darkness and silence to hear that noise in their mind and heart. Maybe it applies to all humans but mostly to men, It starts with as their head hits the pillow, and when there's no one around, not friends they hang out with, not that girl they are trying on, in front of whom they want to look like a solid strong man, not their family in front of whom he doesn't wanna look emotional because it kinda looks awkward, not their fake self, which basically protects their real self. The real self that is darker, softer, not wearing that fake smile all the time, and in which there's a constant battle going on between their mind and heart.

Yes, a man's heart doesn't break easily, but sit with him, staring into his eyes, ask him about his past, his future, ask him did he ever love someone? Did ever someone love you? Ask him if his parents are proud of him? Ask him what's the last thing he did for himself, only for himself, not for his family, not for the person he loves, not for people's expectations, only for himself. Ask him, what is he really doing in. life, in his career what he actually wants to do, what is his passion, what he loves, or if it's just he is being pushed into that career or life to serve others' hopes and dreams. Ask him, how many people love you for who you are. Leave about people, how much do you love yourself for who you are? Ask him, is he really happy in life? Ask him if there's peace in his mind when he's alone? Ask him if is he ever being told that he's an amazing human being apart from what he provides as a man? Ask him if he ever got flowers from someone? Or if someone has written a poem about him? Or wrote him a handwritten letter or made a portrait of him? Ask him did he ever lose someone in life he thought he would be spending his life with? Ask him, when was the last time you cried? You can't hear a men's broken heart whisper, because they are masters at hiding it, but ask him all these things and see his eyes change, ask him and see him not making eye contact with you, ask him these things and notice the change in his facial expressions, observe his voice breaking and tone become irregular, see him turning these questions into a joke and changing the topic, see a transition of him losing that control over his fake self, and losing himself as his memories and night thoughts rushing back into his mind....

As I wrote before, A man's heart is very much like an ocean, it has its own waves, its own pearls, but deep inside it has its own storms and its own monsters too which he hides probably from the whole world because he gets defeated from these inner demons probably every day, he has those scars on his mind, but he prefers to show himself as a strong, carefree human than a vulnerable, emotional, soft being. It's not someone else's mistake that men are this way, it's not like we can blame just one person, they themselves prefer to be like this, or maybe we can't blame him too, he is grown up learning this way of being a man, in which he can't be soft, weak, he needs to be a man, not a kid or boy, as soon as possible. In one way, I have always found women better than men, loving themselves, learning what self-love is, and loving themselves the correct way. Probably there's one reason, either men don't know what self-love is, or they don't know what real self-love is? Or they simply aren't aware of how to love themselves. They always seek that love in others in exchange for what they can provide, and never really try to search in themselves.

I don't know if all boys or men do this, but when he was unaware of self-love or self-worth or anything like that. He never used to think the way I am thinking about men, their hidden world, their mind, and their heart. He also used to think that men are strong and they should be because that's how nature wants them to be. For him, self-love was just watching his favorite cartoon, maybe playing his favorite sport for one hour, or it's just an idea made for women, men actually don't need it.

The truth is, we are never really taught that we need to love ourselves too, Bollywood and romantic songs. taught us the art of falling in love with others but no one, literally no one could ever make us learn to fall in love with ourselves, how to accept our emotions, how to sit with them, deal with them, how to let them go, kids become boys and boys become men, but they never know how to be a human, a human who can be weak and vulnerable, emotional, sensitive, helpless. That masculine urge movies and songs put into us, to seem strong and powerful and be a savior and if you aren't like this, you're worthless. But we are never really taught how to accept and love ourselves. How to be a savior for ourselves first, how to feel complete within ourselves, who will teach this?

Probably, no one can teach us, except time and life itself. And perhaps self-love is different for different men, perhaps for all humans, it's different. For that boy I talked about, self-love was never really the way it is now for him. I don't know how many people see it this way. As he turned into his teenage, there are a lot of things changed except a few that probably most boys or men naturally have, like, he used to buy chocolates for his love, sometimes for his sister, for family, he used to take or steal bites from those pieces but he never used to buy chocolates for himself, only for himself. He used to go to cafes and restaurants along with friends, his love, and his family, but never alone, even if he goes, he used to pack the stuff and eat with people. It was kinda awkward for him to buy chocolates for himself only or eat alone in cafes or restaurants. And what more awkward was he gave flowers to many people before, his teachers, his mother, his love, and many others, but never a single thought ever crossed his mind to sometimes buy flowers for himself, and don't know why I don't occasionally see boys or men doing this, they might do huge things for themselves, like buying a car or spending lavish money on gadgets to impress others, but not little things. And I guess self-love is all about little things that you do for yourself. That boy, never realized self-love, unless he needed it the most. Till life was fun and simple, he was just daydreaming into his imaginary clouds, but as reality threw him on the ground and every dream, every thought broke and crushed along with his heart. He probably started searching for that self-love, that void that was created, he tried many things, like movies to distract himself, watching sports not to remember what made him sad, and probably going out having fun, but as he returned home, it was the same. So you see it wasn't working. It wasn't self-love. He tried again and again, tried to get those memories back, to get those people back that actually hurt him. Probably he wasn't finding self-love, because he was still searching for it in other places and people. He was still hopeful to get it somewhere else..

But finally, one day, when it became so heavier, when finally, after failed attempts of trying and trying and trying and trying, things weren't in place, he realized that it isn't meant to be made, and probably isn't worth any more efforts, the day he finally gave up after so so so long, the day he accepted that he deserves more and yes, there's a lack, that makes him weak and vulnerable, the day finally he didn't hide his tears, and let them flow unless they dried on his cheeks. It was the same day he went into a restaurant and ordered chocolate-flavored oreo ice cream and five Kitkats for himself, the shopkeeper asks " You want them to be packed? "No," he says. He sits alone with himself only there on a chair with his first-ever chocolate and ice cream bought only for himself. Probably it was the same day a transition took place in his mind. As he leaves the place and moves a little more, there was a flower shop nearby, he stops and asks for flowers, it was the month of February, so obviously roses were in trend, the shop keeper asks, "which ones?" that times which flower wasn't important for him, what was important is he wanted to buy flowers for himself only. He replies " whichever, give any one of these ". The shopkeeper started packing roses, thinking naturally he's buying those for his beloved. Roses were cool, but as his eyes fell onto them, he said " No, no, not these ones", He gives sight to other flowers that were there in the shop, and his eyes stopped at a bunch of flowers. He says, " give those ones, yellow ones, the SUNFLOWERS".

He took those flowers and chocolates and returned home, it was the first day, and he returned with a light heart, and changed his mind leaving behind a lot of things. It was the first day probably he tasted self-love. He put those sunflowers in front of him on his desk. Staring at those flowers, with music on, and pages of the book flipped open, he realized many untaught things of life. And also one of the most important things in life, is that self-love is found within the self. It doesn't matter how you perceive it, in chocolates, or sunflowers, or eating alone at restaurants. All it matters is, when you actually accept that you need it, and finally when you embrace it. It was the day probably when he turned into a man from a boy.

I don't know how many boys or men can relate to this, don't know how many of you, actually buy flowers or chocolate for yourself, I don't know when last time you went alone in a cafe and have your favorite dessert. Probably a lot of you can relate to this. All I wanna say is, don't wait for someone to come & have these things for you if someone comes and does all these things for you, it's beautiful, but someday sometime do it for yourself, taste this bliss once, buy yourself a bunch of flowers, buy a bar of chocolate just for yourself, it has completely a different pleasure and peace. If there's no one to part your joy or pain, sit alone in a cafe and have your favorite meal, enjoy it. If not this, do anything, anything that you wanna do just for yourself. It'd give you so much strength and a sense of emotional protection, you won't need anyone else to fill that void. You'd be enough for yourself. You won't have to pretend, you won't have to hide your tears and emotional side. You would accept yourself better. When you would accept yourself, the world will accept you, or even if it doesn't you won't need it. Try it, for yourself. You deserve it. You owe it to yourself.

So, someone asked me " does boys' heart also breaks?" I hadn't the answer, I have now. Yes, boys' heart doesn't break so easily, It goes through many hide-and-seek phases, he doesn't know what to do with those pieces, but when he knows his worth, and then when a boy's heart breaks, a man originates. But i must say Love him untill his storms are gone and rainbow shows up in the sky and when after, all it ends, if you loved him like this, I promise he's gonna love you the same way and may be ...... harder!



Growing Up

Everything is falling apart. Need some positivity. Health , relationship , pets health  everything need motivation please please 😖😖😖

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts