Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex? 20 Reasons & What They Mean

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Sarvika Aggarwal

04 March 2024

7 Mins

If you get recurrent dreams about your ex even though you have moved on or do not think about them consciously, it is quite alright. Dreaming about your ex isn’t that big of a deal; sometimes it highlights your unconscious desires or fears, while sometimes it can be a sign of something healthy.

So let’s have a look at “Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?”.

You’re Not Alone If You Dream About an Ex

If you are constantly thinking, "Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?" know that you are not alone. Dreaming about your ex even when you are in a healthy relationship or have pretty much moved on from them is very much possible.

However, if you wish to understand the potential causes of it, let’s explore 20 reasons why you get the thought, “Why do I keep having dreams about my ex?”.

20 Reasons Why You’re Dreaming About an Ex

Dreaming about your ex can mean a lot of different things. It is better to do research about it, introspect your thoughts, and draw a conclusion rather than being hard on yourself and putting yourself in a self-sabotage pool. So here are 20 reasons why you think, "Why do I keep dreaming of my ex?”.

1. You are not over your ex

The first and foremost reason may be that you are not over your ex. You might still love them or have some lingering feelings for them, because of which your ex is coming into your dreams.

2. You got triggered

Someone must’ve said something or done something that must’ve triggered the thought of your ex. Getting dreams about ex boyfriend must've put you in an uncomfortable loop because of which he might be appearing in your dreams.

3. You have unresolved feelings

If you have some unsaid anger or haven’t gotten your closure with your ex, then there is a huge possibility that they might appear in your dream. If you and your ex ended the relationship on bad terms and you have some resentment towards them, then you might have dreams about them.

4. You saw or talked to them recently

If you saw or talked to your ex recently, whether it was coincidental or because of some reason, then there is a huge possibility that they will appear in your dreams.

5. You are projecting

If your current relationship depicts something that happened in your previous relationship, you might project unresolved feelings towards your current partner, which can lead to fights or misunderstandings and can further lead to your ex coming into your dreams.

6. You are moving on

Dreaming about your ex is a good omen too when you know you are moving on and the dreams are a mere sign of what you do not want from your future relationships or a reminder of what you do not deserve.

7. You are getting happy

If you are getting happy, dreaming about your ex can be a sign of how you were hung up on your ex, which made you sad or gloomy. But now that you are on the path to happiness, you might be finally closing the chapter with your ex.

8. You are reminiscing

Dreaming about your ex can be a sign that you miss the bond or the things you shared with them. You might have had a good relationship with your ex, which ended on good terms, because of which you might be reminiscing about the days you shared with them and wish to go back in time and relive them.

9. You are not satisfied

If you are not satisfied with your current relationship and it triggers you to think about your past relationship, then you might get dreams about your ex. Probably comparing the partners or thinking that they are almost the same can trigger your ex to come into your dreams.

10. You are still growing

When you are still growing out of your relationship and the lessons it taught you, it is quite normal to have dreams about your ex.

11. They had a huge impact on you

If your partner and your relationship had a huge impact on you, then it is quite normal to get dreams about your ex, as that might be hinting that you miss them or the talks you both used to share.

12. Fight with current partner

If you have had a fight with your current partner that triggered some bad memories about your past relationship, then it is quite possible that your ex might come into your dream.

13. You are anxious about your new relationship

Leaving your ex and having to build a new relationship is a difficult task. However, doing so can trigger dreams about your ex, as your unconscious mind might be warning you to protect yourself or not make the same mistakes you did in the past.

14. You are feeling lonely

If you are feeling lonely and have no one to turn to, it is possible to miss your ex partner and have dreams surrounding the times you shared.

15. You are mourning

If you have recently broken up with your ex, then you might be in a mourning stage where you are missing them or thinking of going back to them, which can also give them a free pass to enter your dreams as well.

16. You have been unproductive

If you have been feeling lethargic and unproductive, then it is quite possible that you are overthinking, which can lead to automatic negative thoughts about the past or your mistakes hindering you from living your life, which can then subsequently lead to the coming of your ex in your dreams.

17. They are in a new relationship

If your ex has come into a new relationship while you are still getting over them, it can hurt you. So that can be a simple sign of them coming into your dream and ruining your sleep.

18. You were together for a long time

If you both shared ample amounts of time and were together for quite a while, then it can be hard to forget them and move on, so getting their thoughts and dreams can be an understatement of you missing them or longing for their presence.

19. It says a lot about you

Your ex showing up in your dream might say something about you that you are not able to see. It is best to seek professional help for this and see the underlying root cause of it.

20. You are thinking of getting back together

If you are still in love with your partner and wish to get back together with them, then your dreams might be a sign that you definitely wish to get back together, and you probably wish to contact them.

When Is Dreaming About an Ex a Problem?

While this largely depends on your situation and overall picture, dreaming about your ex is a problem when you are dating another person and being hung up on by your ex. This can create emotional barriers and lead to disruptions in the coming future.

So it is quite important to keep things clear so no one gets hurt and you leave your current partner if you still have feelings for your ex.

Should You Tell Your Current Partner?

This is again a subjective question, as it depends on the root cause of why you are getting dreams related to your ex. However, if you keep your current partner in the loop about this, they might be able to help you get out of it better.

But if you are in love with your ex, then you should definitely tell your current partner, as that can prevent a lot of deeper repercussions from happening. It is important to think about the feelings of the other person and let them out of the loop so that you can think about yourself and where you want to go in the future a bit more clearly.

How to Bring It Up With Your Partner

Bringing this to your partner’s attention can be quite difficult and challenging. However, taking it in baby steps and prioritizing their feelings might help you navigate the situation a lot better. While this may have come into your consciousness after you started dating your current partner, it is best to be radically honest with them, as that will help them get closure, and they will be able to close this chapter in a better manner.

Indeed, this would hurt them but not telling them would hurt them even more. Instead of beating around the bush or ghosting them, talk to them in a mature manner where you share your feelings and thoughts honestly and let them go as they want to go.

How Can Now&Me Help?

If you are in a rut about why you keep dreaming about your ex, sign up at Now&Me and get answers to all your queries, like “why did I have a dream about my ex?” instantly. Talk to professional dream analysts and understand what your dreams are trying to tell you in-depth.

Not only this, if you are looking for a like-minded community, the Now&Me community is the best place to be. Find your tribe and share your heart away without any guilt, anonymously.

Now&Me is for everyone and anyone. Download the app and begin your healing journey right away!

Sources

Now&Me articles are written by experienced mental health contributors and are purely based on scientific research and evidence-based practices, which are thoroughly reviewed by experts, including therapists and psychologists with various specialties, to ensure accuracy and alignment with current industry standards.

However, it is important to note that the information provided is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Individual circumstances vary, and it is advisable to consult with a qualified mental health professional for personalized advice and guidance.

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