When you go on a first date with someone you've known for a long time, you already know a lot about their personality, lifestyle, and personal philosophies. But going on a date with a stranger means a heightened sense of consciousness automatically falling into place. In a situation like this, we try to talk it out and spot any red flags to decide whether or not they're worth it.
It is a universally given fact that red flags are considerably easier to spot. There are times when our minds are inclined to think that even the absence of red flags, is a red flag in itself. In that case, you can instead rewire your attentiveness to keep an eye out for the green flags since they can help you determine whether or not you're comfortable seeing that person again.
If you're reading this, you're probably interested in finding out some of the green flags to look for on a first date. We've compiled a list of ten popular ones for you, but trust me when I say there are many more that only you can relate to.
Green Flag Check: Know If They're The One For You
1. They genuinely listen to you while you tell them about yourself.
It's a simple green flag to notice. When you talk about yourself, your date-mate won't be looking at their phone or zoning out of conversations if they're really into you. Instead, they'd like to learn more about you, including your likes, dislikes, habits, and personality.
You'd know if they wanted to take it further because they'd show it. So the next time you're out on a date, know that if they keep their phone and other devices off the table, they might be a keeper.
Check to see if they're zoning out a lot when you say something. You may easily spot this by noticing how they are mindlessly nodding or agreeing with you without even attempting to comprehend what you are saying. That's not a good sign because it can show their lack of interest in you.
People who listen to you with their full attention will maintain consistent eye contact while you're speaking, nod their heads, and provide you with verbal feedback or ask questions regarding the topic you're discussing.
2. They strike up engaging and thoughtful conversations.
On the first date, if they try to make interesting and meaningful conversations to engage and learn more about your personality, it's safe to assume they're genuinely interested in you.
We know how awkward first dates can be since we've all been to one at some point. It's easier, though, when your date tries to spark exciting conversations and fills them up with an added sense of humour.
You can ask yourself another green flag question: Are they treating you with compassion when you express your emotions? The truth is, kindness and empathy go a long way, and if they're able to exhibit it naturally, you can be confident that they'll treat you well.
3. They arrive for their first date on time.
Punctuality shows that they are looking forward to meeting you. Rather than considering this date as an obligation, they are genuinely interested in it. So if you find them waiting for you at the table, all well-dressed, blushing and smiling, know that they've been waiting for this day for a long time.
If someone respects their time and is seldom late, they are more likely to appreciate and cherish your time as well. But hey, sometimes they may be late for legitimate reasons, and if they inform you ahead of time, there's no reason to think it's a deal-breaker on your first date.
4. They are open to making compromises.
Even on first dates, there will be times when you and your date differ on minor issues such as food preferences, interests, and so on.
Comprising is a healthy sign since it shows that you both recognize that differences don't matter and that you can work over them early on, rather than them shaming you for not sharing their interests.
Compromise is a highly personal thing, and interpreting it as a red flag or a green flag in a relationship may not be the best way to go. Although, taking care of your little happy moments at their own expense can be an excellent sign that they really want you in their lives.
5. They are mindful of your personal space.
People who honour and value your physical and emotional boundaries are the best kind. It's a good thing if you share your boundaries with your partner on the first date, and it's even more remarkable if they understand and accept them with love.
Someone who respects your boundaries will not ask you awkward questions or try to learn more about your previous relationships. They will only allow you the room and opportunity to discuss such matters only when you are comfortable and ready.
6. With them, you feel as if you're losing track of time.
The way they can engage you in deep, long conversations, rather than things like who pays on the first date or who texts first after the date is over, can give you an accurate picture of their personality.
When you start losing track of time with them, you know they're worth a shot. When you are with the right person, even hours feel like minutes. So if he makes you lose your sense of time already, start pre-planning your second date.
7. You feel free to be yourself in their presence.
This is definitely a green flag to look for when dating someone new. Honey, you've got the jackpot if you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not, in front of them.
The healthiest kind of date is one where you can be yourself, flawed and all imperfect, without any fear of being judged. If your date buddy enjoys your presence and appreciates you for being just the way you are, it's a great sign!
However, it should not be solely about you. If your partner is narcissistic, they may evaluate everyone else based on stereotypical factors like caste, religion, political beliefs, race, and others, except YOU, in order to impress you. This should be enough to ring the warning bells in your head. As a result, it's critical that you pay attention not only to how they treat you, but also to how they treat others around them.
8. They don't pass judgement on your ideas.
Your date should be respectful of your views while also remaining true to themselves. It's fine to look at things from several perspectives, and even if theirs differ from yours, they should be mindful to acknowledge and credit them.
It's great if they agree with you on everything, but it's much better if they appreciate your beliefs even if they differ from their own.
A good date is when you feel free to be open and honest about your thoughts and say whatever is on your mind without fear of being judged or humiliated.
In the end, it's all about being understanding and respectful of one another if you want to keep things going.
9. You can effortlessly sense a connection with them.
If you felt a strong sense of connection with your date, your first date was a success. It won't be productive if you have no feelings for them, despite your best efforts to make them likeable.
If they appreciate your beauty and intellect in a genuine gentle manner, make you feel special and giddy, and that you deserve all the joy and happiness that comes your way, then it goes without saying that they are the ideal relationship material.
If they succeed in making you feel connected and loved on the first date, they have a fair chance of getting a few more dates with you soon enough!
10. You have made pleasant memories with them on the very first date.
After spending quality time with your new date and making a mental list of the red and green flags, you know they're the one for you when you can't wait to meet them again.
When you're with them, it's not only important to observe their behaviour, but it's also important to observe your own.
Did you feel at ease in their presence? Did they make you laugh a lot? And most importantly, did you create pleasant memories with them that you'll want to revisit once you've returned home?
A BIG yes to all these questions, and you know it's a match.
1. What are some green flags to look for in a partner when dating?
Well, there can be many depending upon your personality. Still, a few common ones are - to see if they are being attentive, making eye contact, staying away from their phones, talking respectfully to others like restaurant staff and waiters, and respecting your boundaries.
2. What are some first date questions to ask them?
You can ask about some random fun facts about them, their likes and dislikes in relationships, their favourite people in life, some accomplishments that they are proud of, and so on.
What are some green flags that you make sure to look out for on a first date? Share them with our community!