Bichad gya har sathi dekar pal do pal ka sath,
Kisko fursat h jo thame diwano ka hath,
Humko apna saya tak aksar bezar mila,
Humne toh jab kaliya mangi kato ka har mila
Isko hi jeena kehte h toh un hi jee lenge,
Gum se ab ghabrana kessa gum 100 baar mila
Humne toh jab kaliya mangi kato ka har mila...

Thanks for your concern. It's just lyrics but I can totally feel it.

That's so deep.
What's going on? 
Take care of yourself and be strong!


Depression

Even we dont have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

Life

 
 
Trigger warning maybe. This is just me venting to myself.
I'm so scared. All my life has been an infinite loop, feeling like the world surrounding me and myself are doing the same things over and over. Long story but since my sisters and I reported our mom for psychological and almost physical abuse on december 31 last year I've never felt so free and alive. My thoughts were in peace, I finally felt like I wasn't watched and pressed anymore. Until, 9 months later, situations made me come back to living at the same house. With my mom. This time alone.
She said things are better now. She understood that she's mentally ill and that she's taking her medication, her psychiatrist said she was fine too. And yeah I can notice the change, but this change was so sudden. 1 month since I've been here, my thoughts just suffocate me no matter what. I'm so scared that, she come backs to being the mother I knew. The mother I know. I'm scared that life comes backs to what was before, to that dull and painful loop that I felt like I couldn't escape...
Christmas and new year's eve is coming and idk if I can make it, everyone seems so fine by this and acting so normal I feel like a drama queen twisting facts but I can't help but feel sad and anxious and scared. Just thinking I have to live this all again until I'm an adult feels like a long damn journey and I want to quit. Obviously I know myself enough to know that I would never do it or have the courage to do it, just the thought of it is pleasent enough.
I don't want to live here. Living as a independent person is my only true dream now but I have no choice as a teenager. I need help, I really feel the strong need of talking to a therapist bc honestly it feels like I'm dying for these strong negative feelings

Mental Health

Getting rejection from everywhere.... it's too much to handle.. don't know what to do next .

Adulting

If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced to life

3am Thoughts

Bhai ye batao ye middle class family may sub kuch itna hard kyu hota hai , or ek ye goverment job kya hai yrr 

I am feeling very lonely today I just don't have anyone to talk my feelings with or no one to ask me how my day was. I am just wondering why am I no able to make friends like others do. 

Hate life even more today but I feel like I don’t have the right to. I’m a drama kid I’m only year 7 but not many male kids do drama at my school so I’m gaurenteed a role. I’ve been told by many people I give them the vibes of Gomez or Lucas (the main characters) I watched the play many many many times and I feel like I would be amazing fit for one of those roles. I was even told by a drama teacher that I was perfect fit for one of those characters. Now I’m sitting here with the callback list in front of me i only got a callback for a shitty character that I know I would never be good at and I would never ever want it. I can’t vent to my friends because they didn’t even get a callback. I feel like I at least deserve the chance to audition as the character like we do normal auditions then character Auditions. I feel like im so upmyself now while writing this like im so lucky being a first year and getting a callback but I want to be mad I want to scream and yell and blame everyone. I want to prove that im perfect for the role of Gomez or Lucas I just don’t get the chance to. My audition I didn’t really have a character in mind for my song later on I was told that they base their notes off like characterisation with the song connecting to the character you want and I was never told this but everyone else around me was. I had already practiced and had a song in mind but I guess it wasn’t good enough. I thought I was good I sure of he’ll hate how I sound when I sing but im a lead singer in my school band I got asked to sing in I got offered singing lessons because I have “potential” yet im auditioning next to people who didn’t get tht and im mad at myself for think that I deserve better because I don’t im shot at everything I thought I found something im good at but I guess not im thrown out with the rest of them and I put so much work into the play with so much hope I would at least get a chance to prove myself but I feel like it’s a way of them saying im awful and im only getting an audition because im. Male I hate life and I hate life and I hate life 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts