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FailureThought

@austistic_rizz

Been a failure much of my life.

Took a drop from 12th. Thinking, let’s give the syllabus one more year so that I can get into a good college. Never once did I think about balancing my mental health. I am reminded of this failure on a daily basis by my family, my friends, and every person who knows about my drop.

I stay alone far away from my parents. On average, I am burning 40k a month on my EMIs for everything. Is my life even worth that?

My girlfriend broke up with me on my 18th birthday. Even if people here come up to me and say that I am too young to learn love, maybe I am. But that was one thing in my life that was giving me a little joyful adventure. It was making me want to live through all that tremendous torture.

I don’t even have that anymore. I thought of ending everything all at once, but again, I have a family looking out for me so I cannot do that.

I don’t have a particular reason to share my story here, but I do want to know if the heightened emotions I feel are common. Is it the same that every person here feels at some point in time?

Profile picture for Now&Me member @joker279
Profile picture for Now&Me member @satakshi_mishra
4 replies
@theunicornangel

Man look i don’t have a bf, neither i am good at studies, communication, or making relations, i am being more and more immature jitna jitna i am growing up, honestly everything sucks, istg but we didn’t decide when we got birth so we also can’t decide when we have to die that’s in god’s hand to jab tak u are living bhad mai jaye duniya bc kuch time ke liye karlete be khud oe kaam

@austistic_rizz

Yes, I completely understand. I am currently focused on understanding myself better rather than trying to suppress my false emotions by reading self-help books. Yesterday was just another day where those negative emotions overwhelmed me, and I anticipate similar challenges in the future. I will bookmark these chats as a reminder of my struggles to remember them in my future lows

Profile picture for Now&Me member @joker279

Joker 😈😈😈 @joker279

Well it’s good that you shared your story here…
And yeah buddy everyone feels the same at this time … u have to be strong enough to withstand it. Never choose the shortcut way which you mentioned to end up all things once. It’s the easiest and cowardice way … fight till the end . Once you pass the 12th with good grade and opt for your dream college then the people who are critising you now will be with you and will support you saying you did good thing by taking break and all.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @satakshi_mishra

Satakshi M. @satakshi_mish...

Hi! I’m sure you have been through a lot and it’s not easy dealing with so much. I’m sure you took a gap year to only bring out the best for you and if things didn’t go your way doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
As much as I understand breakups hurt but they are a part of every individuals life. Please seek therapy for further assistance.

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