be happy for what you are instead of trying to be someone somebody else for that one person who might not even care

At the end of the day you only have you.
Don’t put effort on temporary people.
Put efforts to improve yourself everyday 

Happy

good morning ❤️☀️❤️

Caregiver

Omw to create alter ego(s)

3am Thoughts

Something very weird happened to recently. someone i’ve been friends with for years, someone who i used to talk to every single day (we don’t live near each other anymore so we only text and call now) just sent me a text saying they are going on a journey to find themselves and cutting of any bad influence, that’s why they’re gonna block me and delate all of their socials. At first i thought he was joking and laughed it off. He told me not to try contacting him bc i wasn’t gonna be able to and he actually did block me and delate all of his socials… idk how to feel about this, he literally disappeared on me. I have no way to contact him, he won’t answer my calls, i have his email if he didn’t get rid of that then maybe i could email him but i wouldn’t want to have to do that. It hasn’t been a week yet so maybe he’ll appear again idk i’m just kind of mad and idk how to feel rn. How could anyone do that? You can’t allow someone to get emotionally attached to you and then disappeared completely from their lives just like that. Should i be concerned? Should i try to find him? or respect his stupid decision (cuz to me it’s stupid and unfair, im sorry that’s just how i feel i respect it ig and his feelings are valid but i can’t say i understand it or agree) and never contact him until he decides to get back to me?

Other

I feel so heavy right now. I was caught collaborating with my friends during an exam and we were waiting for their judgement. This is the first time I cheated during an exam. I don't know what happened to me that time. I was so pressured and all that my mind went blank.  After the exam, I felt like crap. I already apologized  as a start maybe, but I still feel really heavy and really giving up.  I don't know what to do anymore.

College

My story begins when i was studying master degree. I met one friend  online Bcz our classes started online n we became good friends n best friends after that. We use to talk for hours n share what's going on in our life's . Everything was going smoothly until then our classes started offline. N we met in person, he already had gf but we started having feelings for each other so we decided to be together until we complete our masters. BTW he is from south n I'm from north n we know that we can't be together in future but still we wanted to be together. We each had a thing between us, so my feelings for him started to grow stronger. When our classes started online i started noticing that he use to treat other girls the same way he use to treat me. I started getting jealous n get angry on him bcz i can't see him with someone else. 
N at one point i felt like I'm being ignored by him n he started hiding things from me. 
N one day i came to know that he use to talk with one of my classmate for 2-3hrs everyday  late night talk n if i call he will say he have some other works to do n cut the call.. all this things made me feel left out n i started feeling low n cry whenever I think about that. Even my other classmates started noticing that I'm upset with something n i cry always.. BTW no-one from our class knew that we were in a relationship n they started to notice our behaviour changed.. we don't use to talk with each other during class time. 
N if i complain to him" why are u doing this ?"why are u talking with her n ignoring me " he use to say "why are u complaining to me about  that 
So  i told one of my classmate (she was good friend of mine) that he use to talk with that girl every night n he is ignoring me. 
N she went n told her other friends. 
N we had a big fight after that n from best friend we became strangers... If i call him he don't pick up n if i msg he didn't reply. But infront of other he will talk with me n if i ask him to come n meet me alone he use to say he can't n talk infront of everyone else..
N so we became only strangers..
N one day we met with an accident n i had to undergo operation after that we started talking normally but not as lovers .. but i always had that question "was something going on between that girl n him".. n he replied no no no... Everytime I asked he said no.. 
The way they behave was just like being in a relationship. 
Now I'm graduated n came back home.. everything was going nicely with him then one day i thought of doing something stupid so i uploaded one status in WhatsApp where girl n boy is holding hands while riding bike but face was not visible.  N made that status seen to that girl only n i put another status where "he is riding bike". 
When she saw that status she went n  asked him whether that boy riding bike is him n he came n asked me what status did i upload . I talk him it remind me of us holding hands n going on a ride n he was okay with that.. but he started questioning why did i make seen only to her.. n kept on questioning about the status. 
So what I did.. i uploaded screenshot of our romantic love  conversation between us n again made only her seen n she showed that to him n he is pissed off now.. he is angry on me again n we had big fight n now we are strangers again.. he asked me y i did that so i told him i wanted her to know that something was going on between us.. 
N he is so irritated that he said he will never ever talk to me n see my face again. 
I just wanted to know want was going on between them that girl also kept on lying. They use to meet each other also outside the university. N he never told me that..

Colleague

All of a sudden I don't feel like Christmas, it feels like a normal day 😶 

Hi there

Ever felt so lonely that you start cutting off from people who are there? 

If you are reading further, I guess, you were here, too. 

I was this person who is like candy. Colourful, sweet and something that everyone likes, well, most of them. Nothing changed in an instant, but everything did. There were good things and there were bad things. But mostly those good turned into bad. Or, I turned them into bad. I am turning them into bad.

This shell of my body has trapped me. And in another way, it feels like I'm not at all in my body, like I'm flying outside of it. I'm not controlling it or feeling it. I'm just looking at it doing all the wrong things and I can't do anything.

Oscar Wilde once said that death must be beautiful. I want to say, "Indeed" in reply. I don't believe him though but the idea of leaving this all behind is fascinating. Why is this urge to have someone to just listen or talk is growing so big? Its not that I don't have people to be there. It feels like I'm in the middle of an ocean and there sand everywhere. Being afraid of water is not letting me find another place to be and this sand is making it difficult to find a way out. Sure, all these thoughts sound so shitty but I know you were here and this place is not as lonely as it feels.

New Year's is in 4 months. I don't want to make everyday of the remaining year a shit. Funny thing, I am.

Everything is so vague, there's nothing solid to hold on to. This sand is slipping. I lost it. I don't want it back now. I want something which is not fragile. Something which is not under the constant fear of getting fucked. Its not as big as it sounds. 

Crying is better. It is not fragile. It will surely leave the same impact as it always does. Yes, I can hold on to it.

Dear body, 

Its enough wrong you've done. Its enough hurt you've caused. We are not 2, please call me back. Can't you see how all of the things we built are falling apart now? I feel lonely without you. Please let me in.

I Miss You, Dearest. 

I am in a relationship for almost an year now. We both know that we dont have future together. Yet, we are still got in to relationship. It just happened.😔
We tried breaking up several time but ended up sticking back together. Love is now getting intense. Neither he not i can think of ending this relationship. My parents are finding proposals for me. But not gtng matched. I may not get married soon..it probably might take 2 more years. But i want to end this relationshp as it is going intense. I dnt cant end this relationshp as i am emotionally very much attached to this guy and he does too. I am the only one person he shares his feelings with . He Always tell me that i have made his life better and cannot imagine a day without me
Even of we have an ugly fight.. thinkng not to get back, we still get back after 2-3 days max to max and compromise.
Now i am in a stage where i cant leave him or keep him in my life
I fear.. i fear..that one day ill have to leave him and that day would be the worst day for me. And also i would have that guilt feeling my entire life that i cheated on him.
I m soooo much dependend on him Emotionally.
Pls help me. What can i do?



Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts