Basically I grew up the youngest child but I never got spoiled when I was young because I didn’t need much I just wanted to have fun but I grew up to fast and basically I blame my parents and brother I have 7 brothers I got raped by one of them but all my parents did was yell at him did nothing over the years I grew up I been depressed didn’t make friends thought of ending my life and I tried to protect my niece and nephews at a young age but my stupid brother did it to two of my nieces and I feel like I failed and I just don’t wanna live on tbh like I’m tired I don’t wanna keep going on I can’t talk about my feeling to family or anyone I know because they will say the same things I already know I can’t get over it

I’m not lying I’m just tired of living on having to put my nieces and nephews first sense I always thought of them first I didn’t care about me until I noticed how I am left alone again so one day I’m going to move after I get the money I don’t tell the cops because I already did tell they just took me away and kicked out my brother they didnt go on with the case sense my niece where still young and didn’t want to go against my mom at that time but my sister said they wanna reopen it I would gladly tell them everything as long as I don’t have to talk in front of people I hate it sense anxiety and hate when people look at me

3am Thoughts

My ex has hacked my fb account.. he has changed the email id and removed my phone no.. is there any way i can restore it?

Boyfriend

How am I feeling today - disgusting.
So, i matched with this one person on a dating app and went out with him for drinks on our second date.(ps we were talking for like 1.5 months and he even told me in the earlier stages that he wanted to have something casual) Things were going great until I got super drunk and started throwing up in the washroom. He was there helping me out cheering me up since i cry when i get drunk but he kind of touched me as well as in my belly, it didn't feel bad. He was caring to be honest or maybe that's what it felt like. But what actually struck me hard was he didn't allow me to leave until and unless i don't pay the half of the bill. Felt strange to me but i kind of brushed it off and then he texted me saying. That he cares about me and he did nothing as in he did not take any advantage and started telling me about how things were normal in his eyes. And he even said that he now just wants to go out for dates with me and doesn't want anything casual as he is too busy with his job and doesn't have time for casual.
But now that i think of it i feel like a slut going with him and not taking care about my own safety and I've dissapointed every friend of mine.

Depression

Has anyone close to you ever told - you were not treating them well? If so, did you understand why that person thought so…..? 

Anger Issues

Idk if y'all will read this or not but🥺🥺
So my parents fight everyday like everyday.
My dad doesn't like my mom and basically it's all some useless family drama where my grandparents hate my mom and they are making my dad against my mom and all
They don't get separated because of my brother..n they barely care about me 
I am in 11th and they still don't understand that I need peace after whole day of studying I just sleep either crying or someone fighting.. and then they blame me for everything because I don't say anything and simply tolerate them because I don't feel the worth to waste my energy on it
I never get peace it's chaos always
I don't step out of my room unless for lunch or dinner nd also I skip one of them if they are fighting at that time..it seems selfish but trust me..I am always dragged in without doing anything and it affects my mental healt too too much
All neighbours and friends hate me because they here bad words and things outside my House and assume I am also like my family the one who fights everyday and speaks bad words and all
I am so done but I don't know what to doo.. I also wanna have life like normal people.. I wanna escape it but there's no hope because I am preparing for neet and in this medical there's no income for long time ! 
Normal parents, normal life, peaceful sleep and all but all I get is tension and crying.. 
🥺😭😭


Frustration

Hi... I've been thinking about this for a long time .... There's this guy who made me feel like he cares for me. That is only when we are in person. But he rarely initiate chatting when we are apart. But if I do, he plays along well. There had been instances I really felt cared for because of his affectionate nature. But im not at all sure whether he's just being nice , or having feelings for me or playing me. I feel like he's too smart for me anyway. And now that he has been selected for many golden opportunities all around the globe I feel like he's drifting away with all the work that has to be done. I don't want to bother him , nor do I want to be someone who puts on more weight on his shoulders, or someone who drags him down.But I can't get him out of my mind sometimes and it makes my days go to waste. Now that he's on his road to success I feel like he has chosen to ignore me. Because he really does. He didn't even look at me for the past week. And I feel bad. I don't know whether I should just let him go. Or hold on until he comes back after the busy days of his. 

If somebody knows a way to get a person out of their mind , please do tell me. I don't want to put my future at risk just because a guy was occupying my mind. 

 Thank you in advance. 

One Sided Love

One piece manga fanssss

How do you deal with the pin and needle sensation in your palms when you are anxious or feeling very very lonely?


Anxiety

Today is a very bad day.
I hope it just pass as fast as it can pass
And I hope everything becomes numb 
I don’t want to feel anything towards anyone 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts