Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Basically fighting with many on going thoughts right now, its all about a guy. I meet a guy recently because of my bestfriend, basically she is my online bestfriend and ofc she has irl friends too so there is this guy her boy bestfriend who she made me meet online only so we can be along and start a relationship but me and him is like we started getting along fall for each other too started relationship but it ended in 2-3 days. Its because he is like i cant be in relationship with you its not gonna work between us there is no us. I accepted we became close friends again but with benefits like we doing stuffs online only and now he and me both are addicted to each other we plan on meeting doing kiss and all those sinful stuffs but wont be in relationship. The fact he said me i am the first girl who does this to him i love him alot not as friends but more i am ready to see future with him too but he isnt ready. The fact he says he gonna take care of me, love me, cherish me and i am his and he is mine but its like he asked me if i am willing to give whole of myself to him or not i said yep all to him and again he asked me are you willing to be whole mine even when i am not whole yours? I still said yes because i said i love him alot i cant move back from him thats somwthing i can never imagine so yeah thats my vent. And now i am so obsessed that i am lacking in my studies more likely distraction tho i am trying my best to control but still i am, i dont know what i should do and all.