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Anonymous

Background- So my boyfriend (since 2.5 years) doesn’t seem to have time for me /he doesn’t feel like talking to me/ I REALLY DON’T KNOW!
This has been a pattern since he lost his dad few months back due to covid.
I have given him a lot of space and have let him be for long periods of time.

I have suffered a lot too. Overthought, didn’t sleep for nights thinking of weird scenarios, feeling insecure, anxious etc etc.

I don’t seem to be getting any kind of validation (mostly). Seems like only I call him, text him etc. Even if I give him a hint that I’m upset, he just texts back some excuse like I was tired na. Came home and slept. No sorries, no call even after that. It’s been more than an entire long weekend since he hasn’t called me. Randomly texted me “Hiii” in the afternoon today like everything is okay on his end. I don’t want to reply back. I didn’t reply, still he didn’t call.

I am upset with him coz of the same thing happening again and again and I have communicated to him earlier as well. I was really anxious, so I wwrote down my feelings in my notes. But never sent it to him. This might give you a little clarity too.
"I just want you to care. Jab main itna adjust karti hu tere liye. Itna space deti hu, itne din I let you be chahe main kitni khapp gayi hu andar se, chahe kitna bhi ro rahi hu,. In one call, I forget everything and start talking to you. I forgive you without you having to do anything. Then why can’t you do this much?
Kyun nahi khayaal rakh sakta ki main kya soch rahi hu. Ki main call karlu. Reply kardu. Ek baar kuch keh du. Even after me giving you hints that I’m upset or something is upsetting me, you’re like fine. Or main nahi kar sakta. Mujse nahi hota/horaha.

I don’t understand why I’m so involved. I don’t know if I’m right or wrong. Sometimes I think I’m wrong that I’m getting so emotionally messed up for you. I should just move on. I waste so much time overthinking. Why do you let me be for so long. Why can’t you understand that I get so emotionally exhausted. I can’t handle this shit. It’s very very difficult. I can’t breathe. It makes me anxious. I panic.

I question my own self. Is it just me? My insecurities? Or is it actually you?

Am I crazy? Is my mind fucked up? Am I asking for too much?

I just want to be treated right. If I’m not ok and he knows it, he shouldn’t atleast ignore it"

I just feel weird. I’ve really done everything and been there for him silently, given him space and everything.

I’m so so so so so upset with him. And I don’t have the energy to communicate and listen to the other side this time. I’m brimming with my own stuff. I can’t understand his side this time, no matter what he says.

7 Comments

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Anonymous

Just take a break. It’s very important for both of you.
Go hangout with your friends, get busy with your stuff. Don’t talk for like 15-20 days. You both would be charged by then. After 20 days go, talk to him what he’s going through, tell about yourself.
I think this would be the best option for now.
In case you guys don’t end up in a very well state after 20 days. Just be friends & call your relationship off.
Good luck.

Anonymous

Hmm I guess. Thanks for reading :)
Last night I decided to resume back my gym classes. So today, I went to the gym, met my friends after so long. Worked. And now Again I’m thinking the same shit ugh. Should just sleep.

Anonymous

You won’t be able to sleep this way thinking about him. It’s better read a book or listen some songs or if you wanna talk about it we can have a conversation over it.

jatinkhurana

Hey! I know how it feels to lose a father. There are so many expectations and responsibilities. I really feel you should understand the way he is reacting. Stay there with him.

Anonymous

I agree. I’m here for him. I understand him all the time. But my needs and my feelings are valid too.
But thanks for reading and replying. Thanks for the reminder about how much he’s going through. :)

jatinkhurana

Something similar happened with me. And i really wanted my girl to understand my part. Because it was difficult to share my feelings.
Ps- I started getting annoyed because of her reactions and then we broke up.
I wish you guys have the happiest ending! 💯

Anonymous

I don’t think he is into u any more, but if u wanna make him fall for you then follow some steps rn why? Cause he is getting all the attention of you rn and once u start ignoring him he will realise your absence and then start makin some effort, so
1. Stop texting first
2. Stop overthinking/caring for him
3. In the end we are all humans , we just think about ourselves,. Or the pain we are in is the worst of everyone’s else but never think of those who are still with us,so try to be selfish as much u can, in his hard times, like incase u see him crying infront of u don’t try to be soft okayy, if u can’t resist it, just bring him some water and after some time ask him and solve your misunderstandings okay dude be happy u all why to take these type of traumas, u have parents na why you are leaving them for someone else’s love ,love yourself first,be kind to urself pls have a good day