At least i keep no expectations from everyone , every now and then the colour changes 

3am Thoughts

I m quite confused ...my husband betrayed me for another woman ...after an year i forgave him. 
I thought of moving on in life. During this period i met another man who is married. I really like the other guy but i cant be with him. Life seems to be very complicated. 

Stress

She is avoiding me so much and idk what's wrong suddenly i did everything i can to make this work but she just keep making it hard and now i have give all i have and idk how to keep in hold it's hurting too much i can't even explain 

Anxiety

Gone through a very serious breakup... He was the only Boy I had ever felt for . After the series of events in my life , this thing has really taken me down..... 2 years earlier also I had gone through the same thing with the same person... That time I was down but still I could manage to do things and studied like no tomorrow for my exams and was doing well atleast in that department. But this time I can hardly manage to do things. Most of the day I feel like lying on my bed . I have a few PG college entrance tests next month. But my preparation is zero. I want to ... But it's just I'm unable. I don't know what to do now .y life is a hell 

Adulting

I don't understand what is wrong with me. Recently i had a crush on a guy but i never had any desire with him even for holding hands....(he liked me back) And then my old crush came back and confessed that he likes me so again i got attracted to him. Then i got confused between the two and decided to tell the truth to both of them and tried to ignore both but as they are in the same Class i couldn't even if i tried my best i ended up being friends with my crush. But my desires for my old crush never stopped. He wants to be in a relationship with me but i don't want to idk why. Every time I change my mind. I don't feel happy even after we share some couple moments or anything like that .
Being a teenager sucks
I am attracted to him but i don't want him 

Confusion

they won't even know you're hurt because they never looked at you the way you looked at them..
Fact

Yall I wanna talk about another school embarrassing moment that happened a while ago... 

Basically, I was doing my assignment with this guy because he was my partner n then OMG, my stomach started GROWLING. It did a little growl at first and I didn't mind cuz I thought he wouldn't notice but then a second one came, and another one, and it KEPT GOING. OMY, my stupid self thought that he would not hear it cuz I  was probably the only one that could feel n hear it. BUT NO. he looked at me dead in the eye, and looked at my stomach. IAJANA 😭😭😭😭😭 IM GONNA CRY. I then realized that HE HEARD IT 😭😭JANNAAJNAKA. THIS IS SO EMBARRASSINGDSHHS OMG 😭😭😭 wish me luck tmrrw when I go to school 😭😭

School

I don't want to lose her... my best friend... she is on oxygen.. her morale and health both deteriorating...she lost her mother some days ago due to covid... now she is critical.... she told her sis that "nothing can be done now..." this is bullshit... she has to live... she promised me that we will go to New Zealand together... that we would sit on the mountains and eat chocolates... that we shall do world tours.. that she would take care of her sis and father....that she would be a doctor someday... she can't go like this... she is good, she doesn't deserve it... people like me are the burden on earth- total failures. God should take me... god should spare her life...

She is all I have... all the support system I and her family needs... she is barely some km from my house, and I can't even visit her... can't call her or text her... but can just wait for the message of her sister.... I am helpless... I can't focus on anything... I don't know what to do... 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts