a mind @omax
asking myselfā¦āhuh, what you doingā¦no one is gonna hear your calls of painā
I guess I gotta write, I canāt just keep all that inside. vague as a night, so no one can see.
oh weellll, who else to talk to, except myself. the amazing selfā¦
man I am really sad, I want to cry all dayā¦sometimes I just want to have DID, so I wouldnāt have to be conscious and take decisions all time.
mhm, thatās how lonely I am. so someone else would be there when I am tired and want to at least take some rest from life.
I am so much in pain man, no one understands. I donāt have big problems, but for some reason, my mind decides to feel sad.
for some reason, you need company and emotional connection.
what if thatās not available.
how many times I gotta tell ya, how many f times! a fool and an idiot youāre! no one is gonna be there for ya EVER, no one will come, thereās no use to these emotions. youāre alone and will be always alone.
and you gotta adapt, you canāt live your whole life like that, hoping for something you will never, we all know things wonāt change. you canāt live on false hope, because in the moment of truth, you will collapse. you canāt just keep collapsing.
you need to get rid of this emotional neediness.
do you even recognize? YOUāre the problem in my life. my life is so great, your emotional neediness, the emotional mind is the ONLY problem I have. like literally, fuck this world, who needs it, you donāt need people. you shouldnāt.
I am have been trying to be positive and nice to ya, but I have got enough with your emotional neediness. so pathetic, yes, itās so pathetic.
youāre so valuable, yet, you put yourself in the dirt, just because you need some love? lmao, such a fool. you have the whole world and all of its aspects to enjoy, and then you whine about such an insignificant little thing called āloveā?
you need to understand, there are things in life you can have while others, you will never have. thatās how life is. can you fucking believe me? can you just lose this useless emotion?
itās literally, LITERALLY the ONLY thing thatās hindering you back.
youāre an intelligent, educated, talented and thoughtful man. you can have all the power and all the fun you want. but nooooo, you need love āoh please, someone love me! a friend, anyone!ā do you hear yourself, how you sound?! so pity. is that how you want to be? is that how you want to live?
canāt you just man up and be tough. I AM tough, but YOU? youāre just hindering me back, like a little whining kid who always cries.
sorry son, I donāt have any other options. I canāt force people to love or care about you. but I can work hard, and I can do whatever I want and need to do.
the only option is JUST FORGET about it.
you have the WHOLE world to enjoy, to discover and reveal its mysteries, to have all the adventures you wantā¦ why canāt you just FEEL it? stupid emotions. so stupid. SO FUCKING STUPID. likeā¦retarded level, you know lol. a mentally retarded person makes more sense than your stupid little insignificant emotions.
you gotta be cold, you gotta be cruel to survive in this world. you need to be hardened, thatās what you need. you need to see how miserable life can actually be, so you could know, how stupid your whines are.
honestly, I am so tired of you. youāre unbearable annoying. intolerable. and an idiot. while I got one of the best rational and creative minds out there, I am stuck with the worst and stupidest emotional mind. I am 100% better of without you. oh and donāt take the fun emotions. just take the love and bond desire, thatās all. and I promise if you stop desiring those, 90% of sadness, yes a fucking 90% of sadness while just boof, gone.
what stupid evolutionary shit. human is social animal, humans need to socialize and bond. no, thatās stupid, I, the awareness, the conscious and the logical part are enough, more than enough to survive. some aspects of emotions like emotions that are fun and such as well, so it can make life colourful.
I donāt mind feeling sad, sad is fine.
but thatās just pure pain and misery, lack of motivation, huge frustration levelā¦itās not ājust sadnessā.
I am so tired of you, and I am better of without you. and if there was a drug or medicine that would kill this love bonding desire I would have taken it RIGHT now.
if you were a living thing, I would have loved to torture you for life, killing ya, and bringing you back to life just to torture ya again and kill ya again and so on endless, so you just have a slight idea of my pain.
Heyy! Iām sorry for what youāre going through. Just consider me there if you ever want to talk or showcase your sense of humour. My sense of humour is pretty good too. (Not bragging). Anywayssss I completely understand the need to be loved by others, to be given attention especially when almost everyone on social media is either finding a soulmate or getting married. Itās subconscious emo pressure and your mind keeps thinking of it. I feel you. We both deserve amazing love and attention. Letās love ourself so much till the lovers arrive so we set a standard that we deserve. You and me! We will get thereš„ŗā¤ļø. Will you ?