Thought

idkwhothisis123 @claudialister

anyone else feel as if no one will ever love you. iโ€™ve never had a boyfriend and donโ€™t think i will ever have one tbh. i chicken out when someone gets too close, i push them away. i find it hard to tell my mum and brother that i love them. my dad was abusive and used to hurt me psychologically and physically, me and my mum. he used to favour my brother and leave me out of things, he said that there was something wrong with me and that i wasnโ€™t good enough. i am now 17, i havenโ€™t had contact with him since 2013. he makes me physically sick and angry. i want to be able to confront him when i am older. he isnโ€™t allowed to have contact with me, but when i am 18 that all changes. i basically feel damaged and broken, i donโ€™t want to feel like that anymore.
dk if anyone else has a shitty dad, but i just needed to write that

3 replies
@sparkle
โ€ข

Hi Claudia! Youโ€™ve been brave through this all.
A couple of things to unpack here:
Your issue with forming romantic relationships: I think you should learn to express your feelings in a healthy way towards your friends and family first. youโ€™re only 17, you have all the time in the world to form romantic relationships. Start by honing and maintaining the ones you already have, and then expand your circle.
Your relationship with your dad: It is worthwhile to journal how you feel and then have an honest conversation about this with your mom. Part of the growth trajectory and overcoming feelings of dissatisfaction is to be brave enough to be candid with the people we are most close to, and leave behind fear of judgement. At your age, I am sure it is hard to have this conversation because it is so confrontational but I think it will be a good place to start.

@lostinthisworld
โ€ข

I totally relate to what youโ€™re saying sometimes when you get out of a relationship you question yourself on what you could have done better for that person to not leave and you start overthinking and it gets to a point where you start feeling like you arenโ€™t enough for anyone and you feel like no one will ever love you like that person used toโ€ฆ
but remember life goes on Iโ€™ve learned that no matter what you have to keep going on youโ€™re beautiful in your own unique way.

idkwhothisis123 @claudialister

โ€ข

thank you for replying, it means a lot. i know that there is no rush to form a romantic relationship with anyone, i just sometimes feel left out. i need to focus on myself and my problems first. i am learning how to deal with my emotions in a calm and healthy way.

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