Anxiety. I'm a bit of confused and heartbroken. My gf went for a 2 day trip with colleague but when ever I ask she say no without asking. And den she say k nhi bolage wo log so nhi puchti. I know I don't take that much effort. Nd all stuff. What should I do?.

Is your girlfriend rejecting to know what is the concern from your perspetive priorly?

She knows I want to meet. But she is not willing to take that effort k family will have doubt.

Confusion

God please take me back to that first date when I hugged her tightly and she smelled like fresh tropical fruits . Please just Please 

Breakup

So...in April I got a friend from my workspace, virtually. She sent me DM with a helpful suggestion for my blog posts and I was so astonished by her helping mentality and also I was going through mild depression and the days were quite messed up, suddenly her words made me feel so good. she was friendly and ready for a casual chat but I wasn't (I was hurt ever since 2020 due to the betrayal of my only close friend). then after every day we came up something to talk about, then it was all about checking notifications but I was cautioning myself not to get close but then the thing b/w us grew, we listened to each other's broken friendship stories and promised each other that we are not gonna hurt each other at any cause. after my past stuff I resumed writing poetry, she shared her composed music, we became close, shared photos and moments, mysteries, dreams, passion, etc. she also started opening herself to me and narrated her tale, I gave her support even when I was struggling inside. One day when my day was fucked up and asked her "can I share something" she said "maybe sometimes later" then after discussing the timing she said "she can't hold any of my sad things because she is having a messy day" I understood that and moved on. As days passed we helped each other and at a point, her lack of interest in hearing my stuff made me regret sharing things with her and burdening her so then I asked sorry and she said she didn't like the regretting part, and we had a pretty rough chat. I made a special video including poetry about her and poured my heart into it for her b'day and then sent her. she has promised to call many calls to discuss my matters but that never happened, I felt like it's all about her and I felt lack of respect for me. after her b'day we never had a good conversation. she needs support so daily I send msgs to make her feel good but no reply even if she is there in online, I wish she openly tell me whether she wants to continue this friendship or if she is not interested she can tell that, I asked that but she said everything is fyn b/w us and she is absolutely fine. IDK what to do. what should I do? 

Friends

I was in a relationship with this girl,  and its been approx 1 and a half year now. Since we broke up. And I broke up with her cause the relationship was too toxic. But till this date there isn't a single day when I haven't thought about her. And even when I tried to go out again, date other people idk i just never felt right. As if i just become emotionally detached with everything.  Ik its said time heals everything and I'm ready to give that, but i just dk what should I do. 

this is probably just kinda of like a vent because im honestly feeling really sad://
so my online friend blocked me 2 weeks ago today.  i think i understand the reason why and to me it felt like it had nothing to do with our friendship being off it was just the fact she needed to work through things alone. so i spent the last 2 weeks constantly thinking about her and missing her like alot.  we used to spend literally all day together.  we were having 9 hour + long calls everyday for the last year and a half.  we were literally so so so close.  even though it hurt to say goodbye i just went with it for the 2 weeks.  i thought it would just be for a few days or something at first.  today i decided to message her on her other account (she blocked me on her main) and all i said was 'hi' and she replied with 'what do you want'  even though she was being rude i still tried really hard to keep the conversation going.  i think shes moved on and she dosent want this friendship anymore.  it hurts so much.  i cant get her out my mind.  and today i think ive realised that i have to move on.  it hurts.  going back maybe 4 months she was my reason to keep living.  i dont have one now.  it feels like everythings slowly falling appart.  almost like im losing everything ive ever cared about i think im only realising now that she was all i cared about, my reason to get up in the morning was to talk to her and have fun with her, when i used to have my thoughts of suicide i would always talk to her about them, she'd help me with them, and i cant talk to anybody about anything like that anymore. its like i dont even have a reason to get up everyday now,  i know this is kinda dramatic and i know its part of life its just how sudden its all happened.  it really hurts and im really struggling to move on.  she meant the world to me

idk if u could tell but i was crying so hard writing this XD 

Suicidal Ideation

Hey ,
So umm , i cheated on my girlfriend (ik i am CHEAP)), i dint really love her , i was kind of sexually attracted to her , we started dating , we dint have sex and all but we kissed a lot , like a lottttttttttttttt , she just wanted to hug me but i wanted to kiss her . i knew she really really loved me , i just acted as if i loved her ... then after a few months i started feeling guilty about it i couldn't kiss her anymore , i was kind of ignoring her now , she cried and all , i din't want her to suffer more so i just broke up with her (i dont know if that is called cheating ) , i just keep feeling guilty about it .
(this is what happen while we were dating)
 1) she felt i was cheating on her with another girl(lets call her ABC) , i was pretty close to ABC we used to come in the same bus and we used to sit together , few ppl in the bus felt that i was cheating on my girlfriend with ABC ,so they went to my girlfriend and told her we were touchy and all in the bus , they i had a small argument with my girlfriend , i dint want her to feel bad so i just stopped talking to her,(i know that was wrong) , after a month or two i felt what i am doing is not right , i mean i can't stop talking to someone just like that and ABC trusted me more than anyone else and i just stopped talking to her i felt really really bad , so i started talking to her again , she ignored me and scolded me in the starting but after a few weeks everything was normal , and the my girlfriend got to know that i am talking to her again , we had many fights regarding that .
2) i have a best friend (lets call her XYZ)
i am super close to XYZ , my girlfriend dint have any problem about her , but XYZ din't like my girlfriend , she felt XYZ isn't correct for me (she dint know that i was just using my girlfriend)
so XYZ tried to separate us but she couldn't , she used to argue a lot with my girlfriend (XYZ din't really have and personal thing , she just wanted me to be happy , she felt that my girlfriend was a bad influence on me) .
3) i dint give her a lot of importance like most of the times i was with my friends and avoided her as much as possible in the campus , our college management dint like boys and girls being together and they are completely against relationships , so i could spend time with her in college , she was brave she tried to talk to me i just ignored her cause i was fucking scared of being expelled . 

i know ppl are not really going to like me after reading this and that is completely okay 

**i just wanted to confess** 


Depression

So my best friend and her boyfriend got in a really bad fight yesterday and he said all the possible mean stuff to her everything which would provoke her trauma and even slapped her, yesterday she decided to break up and never look back and today when I met her she is back with him?????? I mean it's her life I understand but dude wtf? I don't want to go and tell her to break up or anything because it ll sound wrong because both of them are my friends but I really don't want her to lower her self respect so much or go through that again. Her boyfriend always blames her and scolds her in front of others... I can't digest the fact she came back with him 

I was getting attached to someone and suddenly we stopped talking just because she went home for hoildays but when she return to her hostel she didn't call me and didn't try to msg me and I was expecting a lot of things from her even I have made a plan to go there and hangout with her but she don't give a fuck I think what should I do now .

3am Thoughts

Tired, confused, like I have some sort of bad karma because I fell for someone since the first day I met her and I have no doubt that I can't stop loving her and it's been years.. We have done almost everything that couples do but she has never said yes to be my girlfriend or go out on dates. So we just go out for coffee and watch plays, we even like novels which we sometimes exchange.. Anyways, she's been distant a lot and even though she said she would like to be my girlfriend, she just ignores me when I try to confront her to tell me what we are if we're not dating.. I feel like she's just using me to buy time until she gets another guy. I overthink and sometimes, almost most of the time, I'd like some clarity but she ignores the question and answers or replies to what I said next. I'm frustrated because even when she's mad I can never always know the reason and she doesn't talk about it. I want to be a great friend or whatever we are but it's just so damn hard if I don't know the problem.

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