Another day has passed. I’m trying my best to keep myself in check. It’s weird. Like during the day I try to stay on track but emotionally, I feel like crap. And it’s actually getting in the way of my efforts to study for my upcoming exams, despite my efforts to stay busy. During the evening when I go out, I feel a lot better and normal, but then I wake up the next day and the same stuff happen. I’m trying my all to keep it together, but I just want to make all these feelings go away. I hope I don’t break down or something. But writing on here actually has a therapeutic effect on me, so this is the third day in a row of me doing so. If anyone wants to know what’s wrong, you can read my other 2 posts. It was also brought to my attention that a lot of Indian people use this site, but I’m not Indian, so thought I mention it. :D
Pluviophile🌵 @treck
Hi, I guess we have the same burdens. I’m from Philippines. And I think, it’s my studies getting in the way. I have so many plans in mind to do things to improve mental health and live a fulfilling life , setting goals and do things that makes me happy. But I just can’t, my studies asking for my full attention, and we don’t have time for our self growths anymore.
Well, in my case, my studies fall victim to everything else. It’s just a giant period of change for me, among other things (you can look them up on my profile, if you’re curious). Unfortunately, because of Covid, my exams are done entirely online, so I’m taking them from home. And since the majority of my classmates don’t live in the same city I do, It’s kind of difficult. It’s not that I don’t feel motivation, It’s just all the other issues I mentioned are distracting me. But hey, scripting the day might not be too bad. By far the most success and enjoyment I’ve had is being out with friends. Which is why I’ve been doing it for the last few nights.
Pluviophile🌵 @treck
“I just feel, that by the time I reach my 30s, I have to have some goals achieved so I can forge my path the way I want to.” Found this on your first post and I’ve got to say, we are same in some situations. I didn’t have a well-off family, my siblings had their own families, and I’m the last resort of my parents to have a good life. So rather enjoying my studies for something that will make me happy, I end up on a course for practicality. And online classes worsen my already-unmotivated-self.
So I will just wait for my time, finished this course, passed the board exam, apply to a high paying job, give my family a good life, and only then I will pursue my own.
That’s the best we can do. Just take it one step at a time. The career part actually doesn’t bother me. I think I’ll be ok there. But the part about not finding the right person is really bothering me a lot. I have friends who are a woman attraction radar. I’m not one of them. And their way of trying to help me is making me act like them, but that’s not me at all. I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not. And when I happen to find a girl I do like, in the end I get stuck in “the friend zone” and that’s that. I don’t know if I’ll ever attract a girl who likes me for myself, and that’s probably what leads to the last issue on my first post. It’s been really eating at me, let me tell you.
Pluviophile🌵 @treck
Just wait for the right person to come and fill your life. You don’t need to be magnet, or be someone just to deliberately find a match.
As for me, finding relationships or commiting is not really my thing. There’s too much on my plate right now and to me, it’s burdensome to be in a relationship. Haha
I can respect that too. To each their own.
But I’m growing impatient personally.
Hey. I’m so glad to hear that you’re trying every single day. That means you’re progressing. Don’t overthink. Just keep going. These baby steps matter too. I know it’s hard sometimes to avoid overthinking but find things that you like doing, keep yourself occupied. I’ll just you start journaling coz as you said letting your feelings out every single day makes you feel so much better. Read up a little on journaling and start.
