Another day, another disappointment.
Since I have not confronted my gf about her cheating on me, she still does not have any idea about it. She invited me over her house today. I can’t say that I wasn’t a bit hopeful and happy. But it was the regular thing, she barely talked to me. And once the meal was done, she asked me to leave because her mood was not good and she did not want to talk. I returned home with a heavy heart. I actually know what I am doing to myself is a crime, that I am the one causing more damage to my heart. That i am hoping for something impossible.
It is not like that I am not trying to settle up in my mind. I am telling myself everyday that I deserve better. I can do better. But this pandemic is already hurting and I do not have anything to do at home. I am trying so hard not to think about her. But thoughts come pouring in. I am such an idiot that even after knowing everything, somehow I am still looking for some love. Is there any hope for me?