Annoyed. My bf is yelling at the game, the people upstairs are blaring music and screaming, I'm hungry, and I'm just trying to get my work done. 

I don't have a car atm so my bf would have to go get it. Im not sure what he's playing. He's just loud with his friends. He wants me to start working more, and Im trying but I cant even get a quiet place to do my work in. 

Theres a long story behind him wanting me to work more. I actually don't mind it otherwise I would go crazy. However, everything I make does go into his bank acct. 

He works too. He makes a lot more than me actually. He's just been off because of COVID. Due to my trauma I can't just ask for things. My mind won't let me.

I did earlier and he said he would get it later.

I walked in there and he asked if I was hungry and I said yeah and he said he was gonna go get something in a minute. Also, the neighbors turned the music off. 

Anxiety

I told my mom I practice witchcraft and she threatened to go through my stuff and throw stuff away. I want to explain to her that witchcraft isn’t “devilish” and all, but I know it’ll lead to me getting yelled at for an unrelated thing. I don’t understand why I can’t express myself. I feel like I need to be secretive about my hobbies and beliefs.

Family

How do I keep my insanity? I'm sick and tired of living with my codependent narssicist gaslighting bitch mother. I wish I would have some alone time with myself but no I can't because this bitch follows me every where, blames me for the wrong things. I don't really have someone to talk too about my mental problems since I've been stuck with this bitch. I love her and all but I can't anymore. I've been considering to end my existence, I mean whats the point of life if your being controlled?. Thank you for listening... I don't really have someone to talk to.

Emotional Abuse

I have decided to be a great burden on my mother because she deserves it

Life

I sometimes get too much irritated bcs the moment I wakeup my mom just yell at me that I wake up late but in reality I wakeup at 7 am or 7:30 am when there is no school. This yelling continue for the entire day and most annoying thing is that my mon is just tooo much over caring that she never let me go to school or near by tution alone or even if I want to go to the nearby ground for playing she says that I a kid and will get rammed by truck or cars 🤦 such a nonsense. I am just done with her over caring nature. Why does she never let me go alone I am freaking 17 😑. Even the class 5 kid go to school by themselves.

Exhausted

I am fighting with this thoughts since many years now. The thing is i am not on good terms with my mom. Now she has a dual personality. She acts around the world that she is a Good person and she bitches a lot about me with everyone from neighbours and Her friends and Keeps On taunting Me. She has spoiled my image of how lazy i am and dont do any work everywhere. Even my neighbours keeps on judging me for this it spoils my mood. She has been this way since many years.

Frustration

I feel like shit. It seems like no matter what I do I will always be the disappointment in the family. I try and try again to get the okay from my mom but it seems like she is never satisfied with what I do. She says that she loves me but that's a load of crap, if you loved me you would be there for me through thick and thin. She treats me like garbage, I just wish she was someone that I could vent to without feeling judged. 

**I hate my mother.**

I know it's a temporary feeling, it's just for now. But I do. She is making me so damn sad. Always. 
It's like the limits have crossed now, no respect left there for me in her. That may not be the case for her, but that is what I feel. I am so done. 
And this bloody lockdown.

Parenting

I love my mother so much, but she puts me down every time. So much that I have stopped giving my opinion and stopped talking too. I just wish somehow I stopped feeling all this emotional shit when she says nasty things about me....

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